


The Coyote and what happened after

by A_sillyGermaninLatin_Class



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: :P, Awkward Conversations, Deal With It, England is concerned, Everything is falling apart, Family road trips, Hamilton Quotes, I don't know what I'm doing, Lobsters, Nothing goes right, Or don't, Shit Hits The Fan, Texas and California are both very gay, The Cat is Out of the Bag, They should just get together already, Turkey - Freeform, What is the meaning of life?, Wow, and Colorado manages to embarrass Texas and California, and Prussia, and Prussia almost dies, and canada is mad, and the tea has spilled, buckets make nice additions to musicals, but really, casual mentions of drug use, congrats, first fanfic, half way there?, i counted how long it would take for the flights to take place, it was something like 20 hours, k thanks bye, living on a prayer? no actually living off of comments and kudos, on all levels, philosophical thoughts about the New England states, please and thank you, plz send encouragement, rice, so is America, so we're gonna pretend they can fly really fast, the beans are spilled, this is probably shit, welp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_sillyGermaninLatin_Class/pseuds/A_sillyGermaninLatin_Class
Summary: America has states.... Original I know.....Some get kidnapped, and America has to rescue them without anyone realizing that there are 50 personifications running around wild, 51 counting the Confederacy. Luckily there's a G8 meeting right at the same time, so it'll be nearly impossible.





	1. Family Gatherings

America's house was, for once clean. England would have probably been proud. The entire house was spotless. The kitchen was fully stocked, with fresh coffee in the pot. In the basement, the 6 guest rooms reserved for the regions of the U.S. were cleaned. The labels, Northeast, Southeast, Midwest, Southwest, Rockies, and Pacific were placed above the door. Alfred had learned his lesson quick not to let his states pick their rooms. Invariably they managed to make it a fight about who was better, or who was more able, or something equally stupid.

That week would be the state's meeting. Each region picked a state to represent the entire area, to save space, and time. 50 people who are all different trying to reach a common goal while being hella irritating isn't a very productive model. In any case, 6 states, each representing the 6 regions of the US would be at Alfred's house for a week. The living room had been converted into a conference room. This was accomplished by removing all important or expensive things that weren't necessary and putting them in America's storage room.

"Alfred, you gotta wake up. Don't you have a meeting this week, with the G8 or somethin'?"

"Yes..." groaned Alfred, "Don't remind me Confederacy."

"Eh, I don't care. Breakfast is ready, and so's coffee." snarked Confederacy 

Breakfast was a simple affair, hash-browns, toast with avocados, and coffee. Just as Alfred and Confederacy finished, the door swung open. Massachusetts and Colorado walked in, both carrying suitcases. Massachusetts was wearing a loose cream shirt with her seal on it, and leggings with a knee length skirt the color of pink mayflowers. Her fire red hair was kept long, and was often in a braid down her back. Alfred often commented that her hair matched her temper. Colorado was completely different from her sister. She had short spiky blond hair under a blue beanie. She was wearing a loose white boho chic shirt with blue flowers embroidered on the front, and baggy sweat pants. She was relaxed and didn't particularly care for conflict most of the time, though she was known for supporting her opinions to the very end, come what may.

"Hi Mass, Colorado." smiled Alfred, "Trip treat you well? The rooms downstairs are clean, so you set up however you want."

"Thanks Dad," called Massachusetts, sliding down the banister to the basement. She wanted to get to the meeting early, because once everyone else arrived it would be chaos. Making her way to the door labeled as 'Northeast' she began to fix up the room to her standards. Her flag was hung on the door, so the states coming in would know she was there. 

Upstairs Colorado was chatting with Alfred and Confederacy. She had quite a lot of gossip, but didn't particularly care for blackmail and usually just kept it to herself. The other reason was to stay out of Mass's way as she unpacked.

"Once Mass comes back upstairs I'll go unpack, but just be warned, Oregon said that Cal got picked for the Pacific, and I heard rumor that Texas is coming. This meeting's going to be chaos. I'm pretty sure that Illinois bribed his way to going, probably to catch up with Kentucky. That's all who's coming to this meeting. And--" 

"Colorado, I'm sure that's all incredibly important," drawled Confederacy, "but Mass just got back upstairs, so you probably want to unpack before everyone else arrives. And Alfie has a G8 meeting today to. HE NEEDS TO GET GOING!" Alfred jumped at the last statement, having hoped for a second breakfast.

"Aw, c'mon South, it's not like we get anything done, and I have to explain the rules, and.." Alfred began to complain, but was cut off by the door banging open. Kentucky stood there, out of breath, with a bottle of bourbon in one hand and a bottle of moonshine in the other. He was wearing a red flannel with overalls over top, and a suit jacket. Illinois ran up behind him, and shoving him out of the way, walked in with a very dignified manner. He was the only one actually wearing a suit, it was a black pinstripe, and he was probably the only one able to pull off the look, though New York gave a close second. He wore his auburn hair slicked back, with a fedora perched on top. According to some, mostly himself, he epitomized the 'cool gangster' look.

Colorado, Illinois, and Kentucky all set their things in their respective rooms, placing the state flag on the door, for clarity's sake. Once this was finished all the states already in attendance gathered in the meeting room to wait for the last two states.

California arrived first, wearing blue jeans, a green T-shirt under a red leather jacket, and leather biker's gloves. He rushed down the stairs to unpack, without even a hello. He wasn't late, but he was later than most of the other states there. Granted, he lived all the way across the country, since America's house was just outside of D.C. and he hadn't wanted to come a day early, because Alfred and Confederacy would have made him help clean the house, and honestly, being the most populated state is exhausting at times.

While California was in the basement setting up his room, Texas walked in. He was wearing jeans and a red flannel, with two gun holsters at his hips. He looked like California's twin, the same black hair and tan skin, the only difference that California was a bit more wiry, and Texas was taller.

As California was walking up the stairs to the meeting, Texas began to walk down. As soon as they saw each other everyone froze, you could have heard a pin drop. Alfred and Confederacy stood quickly in an attempt to defuse the situation.

"Cali, how thoroughly unexpected to see you here. Can't say I'm surprised though. You always have wanted to steal the limelight from others."

"Careful now, Tex, those are fighting words, and you know I never give up a fight. I hold my own." snapped California in reply.

"Hey, hey. Guys, you're all here on common purpose. Try not to kill each other before the meeting's even begun." soothed Alfred. As he said this he looked down at his watch. "Shoot, the meeting starts in 15 minutes, and I'm hosting this one. Crap, I've gotta go. Welp, y'all know the rules right? No fighting, no bringing up stupid rivalries, and try not to destroy the house while I'm gone please. Confederacy's in charge. Alright, Bye."

Alfred rushed to gather all the things he would need for the meeting and ran out of his house with a flurry of good byes and loose papers. As soon as Alfred left, Texas drew his guns in an attempt to shoot California. Confederacy noticed, and promptly confiscated all of the states' weapons.

Texas had 4 guns on him, and a lasso. California had two knifes. Kentucky had a gun and a few knifes, Illinois and Massachusetts both had a gun on them. Colorado didn't have any weapons, but she did bring a few joints with her, which were also confiscated.

"Now that we are all gathered, and are slightly less likely to kill each other, let the meeting commence." said Confederacy. "The topic on the table is energy, Massachusetts, you have the floor."


	2. Telephonophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The G8 Meeting and just a lot of dialogue, and shiz...

The G8 meeting was held in D.C. so Alfred was only 15 minutes away. He was late anyways, but that gave him time to prepare himself for the general chaos that happens when the nations gather. Especially England and France, in Alfred's opinion they needed to spend a day alone together and release all of their pent up sexual tension, just for the ease of everyone else who had to deal with them.

When Alfred arrived, everyone was already there. He was, as Confederacy had predicted, late. Alfred honestly didn't mind being late that much. If he seemed an idiot, people left him and his secrets alone. Besides, he could always steel notes off Canada if something important happened while he was gone.

As he got closer to the door to the meeting room he began to think of who all would be at the G8 meeting. Germany, of course, and Italy. If Italy and Germany were in the same room together Romano was sure to be there as well. If Romano was there Spain would probably follow. England, Canada, and France would be there, and if Spain and France were there Prussia would probably show up with drinks. Russia and Japan would also be there, as part of the G8. 11 nations would be present at the meeting. Therefor absolutely nothing would get done. Although perhaps Alfred was being a little pessimistic.

"THE HERO HAS ARRIVED" America shouted, rather obnoxiously, as he threw open the door and ran in.

"Git, you're almost 30 minutes late. To a meeting you were supposed to be hosting." snapped England.

"Yes, America, why were you late?" asked France

"Ah, nothing," smiled America, slightly nervously, "just domestic issues. Nothing major."

Canada looked up at this, he knew, of course, about the states. America was his brother, and his neighbor. Canada didn't know about Confederacy, but, then again, Confederacy was almost an evil twin, and was supposed to be dead. "I wish you luck, America. My house is always open if you need a place to crash." offered Canada.

"Thanks bro! Hey Prussia, did ya bring drinks?" and America was off, socializing with every nation present. The meeting dissolved from there. Italy was chattering away to anyone who would listen, primarily Germany and Japan, about pasta. Romano was trying to convince Germany that he should leave Italy alone, while being distracted by Spain. England and France were arguing again about something, everyone had stopped paying attention once England began to choke France for pinching his ass. Russia was chasing Prussia and America with his pipe because they had tried to pull a prank on him. They had succeeded, but Russia wasn't very happy afterwards. Canada just sat in the corner, invisible. 

Everyone jumped in surprise when a strange caterwaul was heard. It was quite loud, and sounded like the gates of hell had been unleashed. Most nations began to look around to try and find the source of the noise. America just froze and paled. He slowly reached into his back pocket and took out his phone. That was creating the terrifying noise.

"Alfred, what on earth is that?" Asked France, deftly taking America's phone from his hands. 

"The Rebel Yell, it's my ring tone for that contact." replied Alfred, almost shyly.

"You set up the bloody Rebel Yell as the ring tone for your contact!" England shouted. He looked over France's shoulder to see who would merit such a terrifying ring tone. "And you named this contact 'March 1, 1781'? What on earth Alfred?!"

"Shut it off, we haven't got time for this. America, put the phone on the table. NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS! Is that clear?" ordered Germany. He was very peeved that the meeting had derailed so quickly after the arrival of the american.

Unfortunately for the peeved German, the phone rang again 5 minutes later. Prussia darted forward and hit the accept call button, and put the phone on speaker.

"What on earth are you doing beer bastard? We don't even know who that is!" Cried Romano, from behind Spain.

"Wait, am I on speaker?" A rather mid-western accent said. He seemed rather panicked.

"Yes, you do happen to be on speaker." France said in a slightly seductive tone. 

"France, you bloody pervert. Don't try to seduce every damn person you come in contact with!"

"Oh, Holy Shit, it's the lobster!" cried a feminine voice, with a rather distinct Boston Accent.

"Um, well, y'all just continue the meeting. Tell Alfred that there's a rather pressing domestic issue. Fuck, we've gotta go. Bye" 

The line hung up after that and everyone turned toward Alfred. They all had the same question in their eyes. 'Who was that on the other end, and what did they want?' Alfred was siting in his chair, very pale, looking as if he wanted to sink into the floor. 

"You will tell us who that was, da." And with that sentence there was chaos. Alfred and Mattie went to the corner to watch the rest begin to argue. Mattie wanted to make sure that Alfred was ok, and Alfred just needed to take time to breathe. In all honesty, America and Canada didn't know how Russia asking who had called Alfred would cause an argument between everyone there, but since it brought the attention off them they didn't mind. Just as Germany was going to yell to bring the meeting to order again the receptionist came running in.

She quickly turned to lock the door, and in a rather shaky voice she addressed the gathered nations. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, sirs, but there are two armed men outside."

"What did they do to you? Are you hurt? Who were they?" Canada spoke up. 

"Well, sir, one was wearing a suit. He was threatening to kill me, or torture me, or something. I don't rightly know. The was brandishing a gun in my face. Oh, it was terrifying." she responded, "And he kept asking, 'where's the meeting, where's the meeting' I told him that I would have to call the police, and the meeting was not for the likes of him. And he began to threaten to kill me, or hurt me. He didn't stop until the other man walked up and grabbed his arm."

"Where are they now?" asked Russia, with a rather ominous aura coming off him.

"They're still in the lobby. The second man, the one in grey, he asked me to give a message to Mr. Jones. Said if I didn't he'd let the other man do what he promised. Oh, he was terrifying. There was something about him, like he would do whatever he needed to get he wanted. But in a more, polite, way. He seemed more controlled than the other one."

"What was this message that you were asked to bring?" inquired Germany. Everyone was curious now, about the two mysterious strangers that were acting as an international security threat.

"Well, the grey man asked me to tell Mr. Jones that, and I quote, 'The Coyote has stolen the grape and the bull.' That's all he said, and I couldn't make heads or tails of it."

Alfred was pale. Almost deathly pale, but he stood up and smiled at the woman. "Here, I think it would be best if you went home now, miss. I can take care of it. I am, after all, the hero." He began to escort her to the door. As he reached it, he turned to the gathered nations. "The meeting's dismissed. Germany, would it be alright if we reconvened in a week? And Canada, do you mind making sure that the nations are well taken care of? I have some rather important business to attend to. There is a distinct possibility that a war might break out soon, I have to try and prevent that. Thanks for coming, guys!" With that he unlocked the door and walked outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for getting this far. I really appreciate it.
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, and would probably help me finish this sooner.
> 
> Thanks again!


	3. Casually Destroying Your Care Giver's House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly was this "pressing domestic issue" that Alfred had?
> 
> essentially what the fuck were the states doing while Alfred was flying by the seat of his pants?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't out sooner, I had originally planned for this to be done last week, but writers block got in the way of that. Thanks for waiting, or if you weren't, thanks for reading.
> 
> This is dedicated to Sinfulgarbagebin, hips_of_steel, and CupNoodles because they commented, and got me motivated.
> 
> Thanks, It was greatly appreciated.
> 
> everyone else who is reading, or left a kudos, (but why would you leave a kudos without reading?) thanks also.
> 
> without further ado, more story!!

"Now that we are all gathered, and are slightly less likely to kill each other, let the meeting commence." said Confederacy. "The topic on the table is energy, Massachusetts, you have the floor."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, recently I have been investing in clean energy, and finding ways to store it and make it easily available to everyone. Specifically I have been looking into harvesting the energy created by offshore wind and solar power." Massachusetts began.

"As have I," chimed Kentucky, "but I've also been looking into geothermal, landfill gas, and hydroelectric power."

"Ah, shut up Kentucky, just because you're doing more that her doesn't mean that you're doing better!" snapped Colorado, "I for one lead the nation environment friendly energy development."

"Quit bragging Colorado. We all do our best, well most of us, I'm focusing on expanding my renewable energy in wind and solar, to biomass and such. That's all you really need to know." interrupted Illinois.

"Yes, I too have been expanding my renewable energy resources. I mostly use solar energy, but-" California started, but was interrupted by Texas before he got started.

"God damn, Cali. We don't care about it. You're the golden boy, the special state. Give it up, you're not that special."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I bragging? NO, no I was not. So can you please refrain from your base insults. Tell me, what are you doing in regards to renewable energy? Hmm?"

"I'm using coal--" Texas started

"Coal?! Even I know that's stupid Tex. Jeez." snarked Colorado.

"You have the ability to make one of the best wind farms in this nation, and your wasting it on coal and oil. Have you no shame?" cried Mass, as if this development was a personal affront to her. From that point on, the meeting quickly dissolved into chaos. Illinois and Kentucky left the meeting room for the kitchen once everyone began to argue to deal with their own business.

Confederacy, (let's call him Dixie from now on), knowing that they would be out before the others, had prepared drinks for them. Illinois preferred bourbon from Kentucky, and, strangely enough, Kentucky preferred Canadian whisky. Dixie was sitting on the kitchen counter with the drinks when they came in.

"Gone off the rails already? They've barely been in there for ten minutes!" smiled Dixie when they had settled and started on their drinks.

"Yea, might even be a new record. Quickest to dissolve into an argument. Though, Cali and Tex are here, so it might not count. They'd be at each other's throats no matter the situation." said Kentucky in response. "If they get too out of hand, though, Mass is there, so a 13 council wouldn't be too much of a stretch, y'know?"

"Ah. Well, if you two've left, you probably want the room to yourselves then, yes?" began Dixie after a brief pause.

"That would be preferable, yes" nodded Illinois.

Dixie smiled, and stood up. "Shall I close the door behind me?" he inquired. Both gave nods to the affirmative, and Dixie entered the meeting room. The door closed behind him with a soft click. No one in the room noticed. California and Texas were fighting like France and England, while Mass and Colorado sat off the the side going over notes, and basically holding the meeting.

Colorado looked up as he sat down next to them. "We've almost gotten everything organised and decided. I think this should be over tomorrow if nothing out of the ordinary happens."

Dixie looked up, Cali and Tex were still at it, and it appeared that the door to the kitchen had been locked while he was assessing the chaos. The table had been broken, and so had a few chairs. He didn't really want to know how that had happened.

"Do ya think they'd ever get along? If they had to work together to survive, do you think they would?" asked Mass suddenly.

"Mass, you know as well as South and I, that the day Tex and Cali work together is the day hell freezes over." snorted Colorado.

Suddenly, there was a crash from the front door. Immediately Dixie, Mass and Colorado grabbed the nearest weapon they could find, and surprisingly California and Texas stopped fighting to arm themselves as well. They all turned to face the door to the hallway. Seconds later it slammed open, revealing the intruder. It was Mexico.

"Hola, America. I did not expect you here. How are you doing?" called Mexico, "To be honest, amigo, I didn't expect to see you here. Or did they kick you out?"

Dixie didn't respond, if Mexico thought that he was America, that that might work in their favor. "You heard wrong. Now, I'm gonna to give ya one chance to git out. Or I will whup your ass to Timbuktu." snarled Dixie.

"Ah, ah, ah. See, amigo, I can't do that. You took somethings of mine, I'm here to take them back." smiled Mexico

"And what exactly did I take that is so important that you had to come now?" asked Dixie.

"Texas and California, of course." Mexico gave a very predatory grin. California and Texas had gone pale at Mexico's statement, but their fear was quickly replaced with indignation and anger.

"Now, look here." snarled Texas, full of and indignant rage, "I don't belong to you anymore. Hell, I haven't been yours since 1835. What on earth makes you think you have the right to come here and expect me to come peacefully back to you?"

California quickly took it from there, "And I left in 1846. That was a hell of a long time ago. Get out. We aren't yours anymore." At this they both launched themselves at Mexico. Massachusetts quickly ran to help them, as Colorado went to get Illinois and Kentucky, who were still holed up in the kitchen. Dixie went forward to protect Texas.

~~Time Skip~~

"Fuck. This is, this is fucking shit"

"Thanks for your input Illinois." snapped Colorado. "Mexico just took California and Texas! Of course this is a shit situation."

"Not to mention," added Kentucky sarcastically, "we just trashed the living room. Alfred'll be happy."

"Confederacy, you have America's phone number right?" spoke Massachusetts in a commanding tone.

"Yea, d'you think we should call him? Wouldn't it be better if we told him in person? He has got the meeting right now." countered Dixie

"No, we will call him." noded Mass, taking control of the 5 remaining personifications.

"M'k Mass." sighed Dixie. He dialed Alfred and put the phone on speaker. The phone rolled over to voicemail 'Hello, sorry the Hero can't get to you right now, I'll call back as soon as possible. Thanks for waiting!'

Everyone frowned at this, usually Alfred picked up his phone immediately.

"I told y'all, he's in a meeting." snapped Dixie, "We should just go, 'fore someone comes to investigate."

"No, we should wait a bit more, call him again or something. If he doesn't pick up the second time we'll go to the meeting." responded Mass. The rest of the states didn't argue. They were still in shock, and Mass was very good at taking charge of situations like this.

A few minutes later Illinois called instead. They had moved into the kitchen and were standing around the counter, so everyone could hear and be heard on the other end. Thankfully, this time he did pick up. Until an Italian voice echoed through the phone 'What on earth are you doing beer bastard? We don't even know who that is!'

"Wait, am I on speaker?" asked Illinois, slightly nervous. They just needed to get a message to America, was that so hard?

'Yes, you do happen to be on speaker.' came a very french voice, which was almost immediately rebuked by someone else, with a distinctive english accent, saying 'France, you bloody pervert. Don't try to seduce every damn person you come in contact with!'

At this, Mass paled a bit and cried "Oh, Holy Shit, it's the lobster!" Suddenly there was the distinct sound of someone walking over crushed glass from the front hall.

"Um, well, y'all just continue the meeting. Tell Alfred that there's a rather pressing domestic issue. Fuck, we've gotta go. Bye" Said Dixie in a rush. Illinois quickly hung up, and began to grab as many weapons as he could hold. Kentucky began to help him. Colorado and Mass opened the door to the garage so that they could all move quickly and efficiently.

"Kentucky, you're driving." Ordered Mass. Kentucky nodded his understanding over an armful of assorted knives.

Once everyone was in the car and all of the spare weapons had been loaded into the trunk Kentucky sped off. He was a wild driver, not as bad as Mass or Cali, but not the most safe. He had learned to drive by bootlegging moonshine, so he drove over the speed limit frequently, and took strange routes. But he was never caught, whenever someone asked him how he got away with his driving, he claimed that he was special. In reality, he had some kind of sixth sense, that told him where the best route was at any given time.

"Alright, when we get to the meeting place, Illinois and South, you go and tell Alfred." began Mass.

"Wait, why us?" queried Illinois

"Because South's got that southern charm, obviously, and because you are a master of persuasion." replied Mass. "Look, we're here. The rest of us'll wait in the car. Call us when you're done, alright."

Illinois sighed, got out of the car, and began to walk towards the building they were parked in front of. Dixie followed behind. As they entered the building, they realized that they didn't have the clearance necessary to get past the security.

"Well, what do you suggest, South, since we can't waltz right in?" sighed Illinois.

"Ask the front desk, maybe we can get clearance from them, yea" responded Dixie.

They walked up to the front desk. A pretty young woman was sitting looking at a computer screen, probably making sure that everything was running smoothly. She glanced up as Illinois and Dixie walked up.

"And how may I help you?" she inquired politely.

"We'd like to get into the international meeting that's being held here, if you please." began Illinois.

"Sorry sir, that is a private meeting. You aren't allowed in. It will end in a few hours though. You can wait in the lobey." she responded.

"Ah, shame. We haven't got the time to wait. Which room is the meeting in, we'll just let ourselves in." countered Illinois.

"It is a private meeting, sir, you can't go in. If you keep threatening the people here, I will be required to call the police." she responded again, more firmly.

"Now, miss, you have a beautiful face, we wouldn't want it to get messed up, now would we." Illinois hissed, leaning over the desk, "Where is the meeting? Just tell us, and you won't end up somewhere unpleasant. Understood?"

She paled as Illinois took out his gun, "See this miss, we can go out back, or you can tell me where the meeting is. If you don't, I might have to do something rather unpleasant, for you."

"Stop," intervened Dixie, "you're terrifying' the poor gal. Look, miss, I do apologise for his behavior. Since it is obvious that we can't go in to the meetin' ourselves, would you be a dear and pass on a message for us?"

"What would the message be? And to whom will it be given?" she said, still rather nervous.

"You will give the message to Alfred Jones, Mr. Jones if you will. You will tell Mr. Jones that the Coyote has stolen the Grape and the Bull. You got that?" ordered Dixie.

"Yes, yes I got that." she sighed.

"Good, now hurry along, or I might just give my partner a free reign to do what he wills." Dixie smiled.

She nodded quickly, trembling in fear, and hurried down the hall to the meeting room. Dixie went to sit down on one of the couches in the lobby, while Illinois went out to the car to retrieve the weapons and the other states. Quickly Colorado, Mass, and Kentucky followed Illinois back into the lobby, and began to distribute the weapons.

They looked up when the nations began to file out, looking intrigued and a little nervous. Canada was at the head, leading all of the nations except America, Prussia, and surprisingly, England. The nations looked around the lobby, and upon seeing Illinois and Dixie, began to walk forward.

"Look, I'm sure this will all be taken care of, let's just go, eh?" cried Canada, as Russia began to reach for his pipe, and the other nations seemed to prepare for a conflict.

"Yea, commie bastard. The hero's got this, alright!" said America with an underline of panic in his voice. The other nations seemed reluctant to leave, but the did end up following Canada out the door and to the hotel.

Prussia and England stayed behind with America, as America turned to address the remaining states.

"Well guys, the meeting room'll be open for a few more hours. Should we convene there?" he asked quietly.

"Ahm, Alfred. May I help you?" asked England.

"No, you may not!" shouted Mass, indignant that her former colonizer would be in close proximity to her and her siblings.

"Yes," smiled Alfred, "I'm sure we would all be grateful for yours and Prussia's help here. Thanks for offering." Alfred began to walk towards the recently vacated meeting. "Well guys, you coming?"

Dixie and the rest of the states hurried to catch up, and Prussia and England followed behind. As the door closed behind them America turned to face the two other nations in the room.

"I suppose introductions are in order then." he began, as he accepted the knife and gun from Colorado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, it is very much appreciated that you let me know, so I know who I'm going to be disappointing in the near future. 
> 
> Updates will probably slow down from here, b/c I'm going to the other side of the country for two weeks and my mom won't let me bring my computer, and once I get back I've got a week before Junior year of high school starts up.
> 
> I'll do my best to keep the updates frequent, but no promises.
> 
> THANKS!


	4. Raise a Glass to Freedom, Something You Will Never See Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where Texas and California went, and really bad Hamilton references. Also a bucket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short, so i'll be posting a second chapter later today. Enjoy!!

The pick-up truck was speeding along a long dusty road. It was an older model Ford, but it was reliable and had been across the country more than once. Mexico was in the cab, listening to the radio, which was spazzing out, while Texas and California were trussed up like pigs in the bed.

“Agh.” groaned California, “I’ve gotta hella bad headache.”

“Yes, that would be sensible, Cali. You did get knocked out by Méjico.” snarked Texas in response, not particularly caring. He was preoccupied with the fact that he was tied up in the back of a pickup truck in the middle of Mexico somewhere. 

The truck suddenly lurched to the side as Mexico turned off the main road and onto a smaller dirt path that was in poor condition. The two states in the back were jounced around, and California almost threw up. The ride was not doing good things to his head or his stomach. 

Eventually they stopped in front of an old spanish villa. It was in dire need of a repainting, and didn’t have modern commodities, like electricity or running water. This villa was actually Spain’s old house when he had an empire in the Americas. All of his colonies would live in the house, and work on the land surrounding it. The old fields were overgrown, and much of the property had lost its old splendor, but California and Texas could still see when the house used to be lively and full of the nations forming New Spain.

“Well hermanos, we are here!” smiled Mexico. He seemed rather happy for them to be with him in the middle of the Mexican wilderness at the vieja casa española. He led Texas and California off the back of the truck and into the living room of the old villa.

They were led to the master suite, where Spain would have stayed, and untied. Unfortunately, the door was locked behind Mexico, and the windows were closed, making escape at the moment impossible. 

In the corner of the room was a bed, and dresser. On the floor were various pieces of junk, like old buckets and loose knick-knacks that were left behind by previous occupants.

California sighed, and lay down on the bed to try and quell his headache. Texas began to pace around the room. He never had done well with being cooped up or imprisoned.

“We are outgunned!” Texas declared suddenly.

“What?” said California, he looked up disinterested as Texas marched around the room.

“Outmanned!” Texas whirled towards California.

“What?” said California again, slightly confused as to what Texas was getting at.

“Outnumbered, outplanned!” began Texas again. He was walking toward the bed, but halfway there he tripped over a bucket, and it made a clattering noise like “buck buck buck buck buck” as it rolled into the other knick-knacks on the floor.

“Texas, I hardly think we are outnumbered. There is only one Méjico, and two of us.” reasoned California, thoroughly done with the day.

“Dammit California, can’t you see?” pleaded Texas, “I haven’t got my guns, and I was fixin’ to do somethin’ to get back to the Union.”

California sighed, and looked up at Texas. “Texas, lower your voice. You keep out of trouble and you double your choices. I’m with you, but the situation is fraught. You’ve got to be carefully taught. If you talk you’re gonna get shot. I am also rather surprised you want to go back to the Union, isn't your whole spiel leaving?”

Texas smirked and sat down at the other side of the bed. “What do you propose then? I think we should break the doors, steal back our weapons and run for the hills.”

California just nodded his head, “I’m going to sleep, and I’ll see what tomorrow brings. Besides, I hardly doubt that America and Dixie will leave us here.”

With that said, he turned on his side away from Texas and fell asleep. Texas sighed, he walked around the room a little more, but eventually went back to the bed and fell asleep as far from California as he could. He may be the friendly state, but some people he just couldn’t stand.


	5. Planning a Trip

“I suppose introductions are in order then.” he began, as he accepted the knife and gun from Colorado.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before England could even reply Dixie spoke up.

“That one,” he said, gesturing to America, “Is Jack, or the damn Yankee. She is a fucking Masshole. He’s a FIB. That one’s a Hillbilly. And she’s, well, she’s high. And I’m Dixie.”

“Congratulations, you’ve just insulted everyone. Are you happy?” groaned Alfred. “And my name’s not Jack.”

England looked shocked, and not just because a young feminine version of Scotland was looking as if she would like nothing less than to kill him an throw out his body. Prussia was slightly less shocked, but he was meeting most of them for the first time. Still he was able to form cohesive sentences.

“Massachusetts! How are you?” smiled Prussia. The redhead turned and smiled at Prussia.

“I’m doing alright General.” she smiled, “and you? How are you liking Germany’s basement?”

Prussia laughed, “Ah, Mass, you’ve still got that spunk I remember.”

“Alfred!” said England “Who exactly are they? Would you mind explaining?”

Alfred looked up from where he was busy drawing a map of the United States.  
“Ah, yes….Ummm. The redhead is Massachusetts, the blonde is Colorado. The dapper looking businessman is Illinois, the one wearing overalls is Kentucky. In the grey we have the fucking rebel, also known as the Confederate States of America, or Dixie, or South. A Masshole is a reference to the fact that people from Massachusetts are typically assholes and can’t drive for shit. A FIB is a ‘fucking illinois bastard’. A hillbilly is kinda like a yokel, just a rural person from the south or midwest. And as of now, only me and Massachusetts are Yankees, ‘cause the rest aren’t from the area.” replied Alfred.

England nodded, and Alfred went back to his map. The states sat themselves at the table, and Prussia and England followed suit. 

Just as Alfred was going to speak England interrupted him “What exactly is the problem, before you begin?”

Alfred looked at Dixie who stood and took the podium. “California and Texas have been taken by Mexico. We also happened to ruin the house in the process.” began Dixie. “We were caught unawares. Mexico managed to knock California out and coerced Texas into tying him up and following. They are probably somewhere in  
Mexico right now.”

Everyone looked to Alfred expectantly. Alfred himself had a thoughtful expression on his face. He turned to the map and then back to the states.

“Alright guys. Here’s what’s gonna happen. Mass, you call a Council. Illinois, I want you to go and prepare the defenses and alert the necessary people. Kentucky, you’re in charge of getting Arizona and New Mexico to a safe place. Colorado, you’re gonna find a safe place for them to stay. Preferably up north. Y’all got that?” commanded Alfred.

A chorus of yessirs was heard around the room and the states scattered out of the room.

“The rest of us, we’re going to Mexico.” smiled Alfred. The smile wasn’t his usual though, it was grim and full of a bloody promise. A promise of pain to whoever thought they could hurt his family.

“Aye, aye, Jack!” shouted Dixie. 

The illusion of dignity was broken as Alfred jumped Dixie and they began to wrestle on the floor. 

“ATTENTION” shouted Prussia.

Suddenly both Alfred and Dixie were standing to attention. Prussia walked past them, like a cat stalking his prey. 

“Be quiet, I thought you were trying to organize a rescue operation. This is not how I trained you, Alfred, I expected better.”

Alfred looked sheepish.

“Alright. At ease men.” sighed Prussia.

“Where in Mexico are they?” asked England suddenly. Everyone looked surprised. 

“What? Mexico is rather large. You ought to know where you are going, so you don’t lose the element of surprise.”

“I don’t know where they are. That is a good point.” sighed Dixie.

Both Alfred and Dixie looked forlorn. They hadn’t quite comprehended the immensity of the task set before them until just then.

“England, you do magic right?” asked Prussia suddenly. At this statement the representatives of the United States looked hopeful.

“Yes. I could make a locating spell. Have you got anything of theirs?” queried England.

At this Alfred perked up. “We can go back to the house. They’ve got their things there.” he cheered. “I’ll drive!”

~~Time Skip~~

England looked in shock at the house. The door hung open, and the kitchen and living room looked like a tornado had gone through while they were out. Alfred ran down to the basement and into Texas’ room. He grabbed the first thing he could see, a spare pistol. England had cleared a space in the living room while he was downstairs, and was currently drawing a pentagram on the floor.

“Iggy, I’ve got it!” shouted Alfred

“Bloody git, don’t shout!” grumbled England, “here, put it in the middle of the circle.”

Alfred did what he was told and stood to the side. England began to chant under his breath. The pentagram glowed green, and England was surrounded by a green glow. Suddenly there was a flash and the gun was transformed into a map.

“There,” said England, “this map will lead us to..”

“Texas.” supplied Dixie

“Yes, him,” continued England, “and when it reaches him it will become what is was before.”

“Ohthankgod.” sighed Alfred, “he’d’a killed us if we ruined one of his guns.”

Prussia looked at the map. It showed a remote region of Mexico, where there appeared to be an old house. 

“Well, losers. What are we waiting for? Let’s go get them back.” he cheered.

Alfred, Prussia, Dixie, and England went out to the car. Alfred slid into the driver’s seat, Dixie sat shotgun. England and Prussia sat in the back. Dixie rustled through the glove box and pulled out a CD case. Alfred looked over and laughed.

“I hope you don’t mind, but me ‘n South’ll be doing car karaoke.” said Alfred. “The theme this time is 1860’s. Dixie’s choice.”

“Kesesesesese. England, you and I will get a wonderful serenade on our way down to Mexico.”


	6. Men (Boys Really) at Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being here!! I last posted the day before the school year started, and let me tell you, Junior year sucks. I literally just got my first good night of sleep yesterday. Every other day I was running on 3~5 hours of sleep a night. In any case, without further ado, I present to you (hey that rhymed) another chapter in this story! YAY!

“Buenos Dias hermanos!” exclaimed Mexico, “I’ve made breakfast. It’s chilaquiles and huevos rancheros.” 

Texas groaned and rolled over to his side away from Mexico, covering his face with the blanket. California, on the other hand, got up slowly and made his way to Mexico.

“I take it the comida is down in the kitchen. You wouldn’t have been so kind as to bring it up to us anyway.” sighed California.

Mexico looked rather put out at his response, but nodded in confirmation anyways. “You remember where the cocina is. I’ve cleaned it up in preparation for you being here. How is your head?”

California scoffed, “Like you’d care.” and walked past Mexico to the kitchen.

The kitchen was large and well stocked with food and cooking utensils, like pots, pans, forks, and knives. A table had been placed in the middle of the room, and was set for three. The breakfast was placed in the middle for easy reaching by each of the personifications. There was also a jug of cold water for drinking.  
Mexico sat at the head of the table, California sat to his left, and Texas sat to his right. Mexico had already eaten, and was just watching the others eat. Texas ate quickly, as if someone would take his food if he didn’t eat it. He also ate a lot. California on the other hand was eating slowly. He didn’t have much on his plate, and didn’t appear to want to eat the food in the first place.

“Tomorrow,” sighed Mexico, “tomorrow you two will be making the breakfast for us all. Today you will just do the dishes.”

Texas seemed shocked at this development, while Cali just sighed and stood to clear his place. Mexico stood as well but left his dishes at the table. 

“Tex, get the dishes, and put away the food, will you.” sighed Cali. He was walking towards the back door to fill a bucket with water, to fill the sink in the corner. Texas nodded and began to put the food into different containers. He split it into halves, and then one of the halves into thirds. California looked at this with interest, “What are you doing? Just put the food away, there aren’t four people here.”

“No,” replied Texas, “But if we want to escape, we need supplies. These are our supplies.”

At this Cali nodded an began to clean the used dishes. It was a long process, the water needed to be taken out occasionally, and some of the things he didn’t know where to put. Texas was kind enough to help him by drying the dishes an exploring the rest of the room.

The door to the rest of the house had been locked when Mexico left, but the door to the garden was left unlocked so they could retrieve water from the pump. Texas wandered out into the garden when he finished cleaning his side of the kitchen, and set out to find a proper hiding place among the old tomato vines and dead herb bushes. 

Texas had just settled himself in the back corner underneath some dilapidated trellises when California walked out of the kitchen. The sun was falling toward the door, and fell upon his face in such a way that it accented his hispanic features and made his skin like bronze. Texas looked away, blushing furiously.

‘God dammit, Texas. Don’t let him get to you, he’d just use it against you.’

“Texas,” called California, “Where are you? Can we talk?”

He jumped in surprise, and fear at Cali’s last statement. 

“Here. I’m in the corner under the old trellises.” Texas responded. 

California made his way over quickly, and took his seat across from him under the makeshift shelter. He looked at Texas shrewdly, as if he knew what had been going through his mind. 

“We need to do something about our present situation. Union and South don’t know where we are. We need to go to them.” California began. “I propose a mutually beneficial Compact between us.”

“Isn’t that illegal? To join together in a union, I mean?” sighed Texas. “And why wouldn’t Dixie and Union come for us?”

“Creating a compact or union is only illegal if we have no reason to do it, see article 1, section 10. ‘No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.’ I think that clause applies in this situation. Don’t you?” replies California, some of his usual snark returning by the end of his statement. “And really the only people who know where the casa españa are the rest of the Spanish states. Do you really think either Alfred or South would let any of them come with them.”

Texas nodded quietly. “If it’s allowed, then definitely. I’m going to need all the help I can get to leave this place and go home to my ranch.”

California laughed at that, but didn’t contradict him. Internally, California was just glad that Texas hadn’t outright dismissed his ideas or thoughts like usual. It must be a cold day in hell, since they are both sitting about 2 feet apart and neither one of them is dead yet. 

“Well, we make a pact, how about this? ‘I California do hereby swear on my sacred honor that I will defend and aid Texas in such manner and form as I am able until we have crossed the border into the United States of America and reach a position of security.’”

Texas nodded again, looking thoughtful. “That works for me, you want one from me too don’t you?” California looked affronted. “Like I thought, always seeking some form of personal gain. Very well. ‘I, Texas, do hereby swear that I shall aid and protect California through thick and thin until we have once again returned to peaceable union with the United States. This I swear on my sacred honor.’”

California smiled, and leaned forward. Texas began to lean in as well.

“Hermanos? Where are you? I’d like you to make us lunch!” Mexico walked out into the garden and frowned. He didn’t know where they had gone. He sighed and walked back into the kitchen to search the house. Texas and California shared a look and ran back to the kitchen quietly. They didn’t want their hiding place to be found.

~ Time Skip~

California frowned. Texas was sleeping on the bed across from him, but he couldn’t sleep. He got up off the bed and moved toward the window. The moon was almost full that night, and its rays fell on the bed.

‘He looks so graceful and strong. Wait what? What am I thinking? Now is not the time California. You know what happens when you think these things. Think about the pretty ladies in Malibu or on Venice Beach. Or think about the guys you could pick up when you get home. Don’t think about how much you want Texas. Bad, bad, bad thoughts. Why would he want you? You’re his greatest enemy. He hates you.’

California suddenly jerked his head away from Texas and looked very angrily at the decrepit fields outside of the window. He didn't sleep much that night, but granted, neither did Texas. Both were too busy looking at the other to sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyed the story? leave a kudos, or a comment.
> 
> General translations:
> 
> Chilaquiles - Mexican breakfast food (tortillas simmered with salsa)  
> Huevos rancheros - Mexican breakfast food (eggs on tortillas with salsa and rice)  
> Comida - food  
> Cocina - kitchen  
> Casa española - spanish house


	7. Good Food, Good Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!! this came out much sooner than I expected. I guess, don't get used to it, inspiration is a fickle mistress.

England groaned in annoyance. It wasn’t that America and Dixie were bad singers, they were actually both very good, to his surprise. It was that Alfred was driving at least ten miles over the speed limit, and Dixie had the window rolled down so he could yell the lyrics to the whole world. All of the noise was giving him a headache. He almost felt at home, which terrified him. He didn’t want to be reminded of his brothers back in Europe. They were annoying, rude, and constantly undermined his authority. Honestly, couldn’t they just accept the fact that he had conquered them fair and square? All that aside, the singing was beginning to get to him. 

Dixie leaned his whole head out of the window as he sang the last verse of the song. England didn’t even know what the name of the song was.

“I’ll place my knapsack on my back, my rifle on my shoulder. I’ll march away to the firing line and kill that yankee soldier, and kill that yankee soldier. I’ll march away to the firing line.... And I’ll kill that yankee soldier!!” at this declaration he let out a whoop of joy.

Alfred just smirked, and began to swerve even more recklessly around the other traffic on the road. Dixie brought his head back in the car and pouted at him, as if he had just ruined his day.

“Don’t care, South. Don’t care.” laughed America.

“Alfred, the awesome me just has to ask, what exactly is your plan? Or are you running into this willy nilly like you did the first time?” Prussia interrupted what was quickly becoming an almost fight between the two people in the front seats. 

Dixie looked back at Prussia. “He ran into something ‘willy nilly’?” He seemed almost surprised at this revelation. “Whenever I’ve seen him set his mind to somthin’ he definitely isn’t ‘willy nilly’ as you put it.”

“No,” England sighed, “No, his revolution was definitely ‘willy nilly’ at the beginning.”

Alfred just smirked with pride and satisfaction. He looked almost like a cat who had caught a mouse.

“The awesome me made the whole revolution successful though.” added Prussia. “After all, I was the one who trained him and the other 13. Let me tell you, none of them could shoot for shit. Totally unawesome. But then I came along, and boom! You made history, brought England down a notch too. You’re welcome. No offence, Arthur.”

“No, I’m pretty sure offence was ment in that statement.” laughed Dixie.

England just looked sour, as if he had swallowed lime juice. “Either way, the past is past. And it would hardly be wise to antagonize you now, Alfred.”

“Anyways, I was wondering, since it’s getting late, where would the awesome me be sleeping tonight?” asked Prussia.

Alfred nodded his head, and was about to say something when Dixie interrupted him. “Take this exit. Right now!” Alfred swerved through both lanes of traffic and nearly hit the divider. Prussia let out a yell, he was enjoying Alfred’s driving. England held onto the door and looked rather nauseous, and very angry. Dixie was still giving Alfred directions. After a couple sharp turns, Alfred parked in a spot, perfectly may I add, right in front of the local Kroger’s.

Prussia let out a breathless laugh. “That was the most fun I’ve had in awhile. We should go driving again at some point. When are you free?”

Alfred turned in his seat to properly look at Prussia. His face held an expression of exasperation and mild shock, as if Prussia had just asked a stupid question, one where the answer was very clearly obvious.

“General, I’m The United States of America, I’m always free.” 

Dixie just coughed into his hand, as if smothering a laugh. “Anyway nerds, I’ma go get us some supper. England would you mind coming with me? Thanks. Also Jack, I’ll need your wallet to, if you don’t mind.”

“You have your own, don’t use my money!” protested Alfred.

“I’ve got ten dollars plus change. That’s not enough to get food.” countered Dixie

“Fine.” Alfred almost threw his wallet at Dixie, who caught it with a smile of thanks, and proceeded to look through the contents.

“Mk, what have we here? Ooh, 150 in dollars, cool. 50 euro, 100 swiss franc, why do you have swiss franc? And 155 pounds. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. So we’ve got 160 and change to buy ourselves two weeks of food.”

“I could probably exchange the pounds, if you wanted?” offered England.

“Naw, that’s fine. We’ll get by. Come on, sooner we go, sooner supper’s ready.” sighed Dixie.

They both left the car, and made their way to the grocery store. Once they entered, Dixie immediately went to the dried foods section. He got a bag of rice, and some dried vegetables. England stood by. He had no real purpose here, he had just gone because he was a gentleman, and if someone asked him politely to accompany them, he would. Unless it was the frog, or Russia, or any of his siblings, or colonies. Except Canada. Canada was a very polite nation when you took the time to acknowledge him, which he did. Let no one say he wasn’t a gentleman. They browsed the store for a while longer, adding ground meat to the basket and canned beans, celery, onions, and bell peppers to the odd assortment of food stuffs. When Dixie was finally done gathering all of the necessary items, he had two baskets full, one of dried goods and spices, the other of perishables, meat and vegetables mostly. England had added tea and coffee to drink.

“Before we go back, England, I just had to ask.” Began Dixie, “Why’d you offer to help Jack? This ain’t an international affair.”

England contemplated the question for a long while. “I don’t know. America is my younger brother. And I guess I just felt as though I owed him. He did help when I needed it, late of course, but he gave assistance, and as a gentleman I ought to repay him. He is also rather powerful, I’d hate to have to fight him now. Why?”

“I am a part of him, a part of the United States. I don’t want you to take advantage of any presumed weaknesses. I don’t like him, sometimes, and he can be annoying, but I swore loyalty. That is important to me, so I will do what I can to protect my home. Look, just promise not to tell anyone about the states, and don’t bother us.”

England looked at him, “Certainly. Alfred has good reason to keep his states secret from the world. I won’t interfere in your issues.”

“Good. And just so you know, Canada knows about the states, but not me. So if you want to talk to the Canuck you can, just don’t mention me, if you can help it.” grinned Dixie. He then turned heel and marched over to the car. England followed slightly bemused. America was a weird country.

~~Time Skip~~

The four of them ended up eating in a local church. They weren’t supposed to, but Prussia was kind enough to pick the lock to the side door. Dixie set up a small cooking fire outside the door, and prepared the meal while Alfred began to organise the pews so they could sleep.

“Supper’s finished! Jack, get the plates and silverware for the rest of us.” called Dixie.

After a semblance of order had been achieved, and everyone had dishes to eat the food with, Alfred dug in. Both European countries, however were more hesitant. The dish was rice, but it looked like it had been dragged through the mud and vegetables had been added later to make it somewhat edible.

“Pardon me, but what exactly is this?” queried England.

“Dirty rice.” said Dixie, without looking up. “It’s rice with meat and vegetables, and spices. Eat, it’s good. And if you don’t we might eat it for you.”

At this confirmation that the food was edible, Prussia and England ate. All four of them were done pretty quickly, and once they had all finished Alfred took the dishes to wash.

“Alright. We should probably make a more formalized plan for this operation.” began Dixie. “But first, any questions?”

“Yes, why did you get sad, just after we left? You stopped singing briefly.” asked Prussia. “I didn’t see anything different with that town? And the song wasn’t horribly sad.”

“We drove through Bull Run.” sighed Alfred. 

“Manassas. Get it straight Jack.” snapped Dixie, but there didn’t seem to be the usual vigor behind the words.

“Why is that important?” interrupted England.

Both representations of the United States looked up, “Battle of Bull Run.” Alfred said, right as Dixie said “Battle of Manassas.” They both proceeded to glare at each other.

“I beat your ass both times, it’s Manassas.” snarled Dixie.

“Another question.” interrupted Prussia, “Why are you calling America Jack? My awesome self doesn’t get it.”

Dixie smirked. “Oh that’s easy. It’s ‘cause he’s English.”

“‘M not english. England’s english, I ain’t.” countered Alfred

England looked confused. He looked back and forth from America to Confederacy, and then back to America. Then he laughed. “Thank you, Confederacy. I do think I’ll have to keep that in mind.” 

Prussia frowned, “I still don’t get it. What’s so funny about a wrong name?”

“Don’t worry about it,” rushed America, “Let’s continue. What do we need to prepare for?”

“Well, if we’re going to Mexico, don’t you think he’d be expecting you?” began Prussia. “I don’t know what we’re going to do to counter that. He could sense our awesomeness once we cross the border.”

“I think,” began England slowly, “I think that since neither you nor Dixie are actually nations, we could sneak you in, Mexico would only really know about America and I.”

“That’s sensible. However, we must take into consideration that he holds a defensive position.” Dixie added, “so we’d essentially be taking a fort. ‘Cause Mexico will be able to fortify the property and use the surrounding land to his advantage. We also don’t have the time or numbers to perform a proper siege.”

Alfred yawned, “I think we should all turn in. We’ve got a ways tomorrow. I’m guessing 15 hours of travel. And I’d like a solid 5 hours of sleep at least.”

The rest of the party nodded in agreement, and began to clean up all unnecessary items they had gotten out. Eventually everyone fell asleep. England next to Prussia, and America next to Dixie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dixie was singing at the beginning was Southern Soldier.  
> Let it be known that I don't condone breaking into churches because you are to cheap to go to a motel.  
> On another note, did you guys catch the joke I put in (not about freedom)? It's a play on words, and is probably only funny to me. It's also not explicitly stated. Kudos if you found it.


	8. Highway to hell... (I'm sure being stuck in a car with England and Prussia is close enough)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on the road again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this was late. By about 3 weeks. But thanks for your patience. This still follows America and Co. since the last chapter left them a day behind California and Texas. So now everyone is at the same time. YAY! 
> 
> Please enjoy my meager offering of 4 guys in a car. Eating boiled peanuts.

The morning ran with a sense of oiled efficiency. Alfred quickly made breakfast: reheated dinner and coffee (or tea). Dixie cleaned up the place while everyone ate. 30 minutes after they all woke up they were on the road again.  
“I figure,” began Alfred, “We’ll drive down to Houston by way of 81, 40, 75, 59, 20. That’ll take us through to Mississippi. After that it’s a hop to 59 again, then 12 to 10 to Houston.”

Dixie nodded and started the car, he was driving that day, “Affirmative. Do you mind if we stop for boiled peanuts on the way?”

Prussia and England looked on with confusion, “Where are we going exactly?” queried England.

“We’re taking interstate, actually all of them are interstates, we’re taking interstate 81, then I-40 to I-75 to I-59 to I-20 back to I-59 to I-12 to I-10. Then we’ll hit Houston, where we’ll probably stay the night,” explained Dixie.

“And what are boiled peanuts?” asked Prussia.

“Boiled peanuts,” answered America. “They are what they say they are.”

They were well on their way by the time all of England and Prussia’s questions had been answered. At some point (the author got lazy and decided that a brief overview of the whole trip would be fine) America had put in another CD, and began singing along to Motown. Halfway through Alabama Dixie pulled off to the side of the road next to an old shack. There was a large sign advertising boiled peanuts, and America quickly jumped out of the car and bought 4 bags of the delicious treat.

The four continued on their way, eating peanuts. America and Dixie provided a running commentary on the state of the country once the CD ran out. Eventually, they had all agreed to a basic plan of attack and were relatively secure with what had been agreed. Dixie and Prussia would go in through the back to get Texas and California out and back to the car. The car would be parked about a mile away so that they could leave quickly. While Dixie and Prussia were retrieving the states America and England would be at the front of the house to distract and/or disable Mexico so they could all get away quickly. America would be at the door providing the main distraction while England covered his back with a sniper rifle. Surprisingly, England was a good shot, not as good as America, but still very competent.

Round about the state line between Alabama and Mississippi Alfred’s phone began to ring.

“Yello, this is the great U.S. of A. speaking. Whadda ya want?” He said, answering the phone.

“Yes, hello Alfred. I was just wondering, how long will it take you to get back?”

“Well, considering the fact that this is just the second day of being gone, I don’t really know. I figure 5-6 days? We’re just about to hit Mississippi.” 

“Please come back soon. I don’t know how you stand it. Being the center of attention all the time. It’s exhausting, eh.”

“Oh chill Canada. It’s not that bad.” laughed America, “Besides, I’m sure you’re doing a better job keeping the peace than I am.”

“I wouldn’t call this peaceful. Russia is plotting your demise or something. He’s just sitting in a corner and everyone is afraid he’s going to murder us soon. Papa is very upset. He wants his ‘Angleterre’ and has resorted to drinking wine and pestering everyone. Germany is also worried since none of us know where Prussia is, or England for that matter. … Wait. What do you mean ‘We’?”

“Umm. Well, you see. Uh.”

“Just spit it out. Who are you with?”

“FINE!! Jeez Mattie, you’d think you’d be a little more polite huh, I’m with Prussia and Iggy right now. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why the hell are you with them. Wait, if you’re on the phone who’s driving? Since I know for a fact you won’t let either of them drive your cars.”

“Look, Canadia, I love you and all, but I really gotta go right now. Chiao. Oh, and tell France that Iggy’s with me, and he doesn’t have to worry about someone making moves on his man, ok? Bye.” with that Alfred quickly hung up.

England spluttered at the last statement, “I am most definitely not France’s man, as you put it.”

Prussia and America both burst out laughing, “Nope. You and Francy-pants have so much unreleased sexual tension, I could cut it with a butter knife.” smirked Prussia “Do you know how many times I’ve had to awesomely comfort him when he felt everything was hopeless with you?”

Alfred looked to add to the conversation, but paused suddenly. There was a look on his face of confusion and a bit of pride. Turning to Dixie he said, “Didja feel that?”

“What? The kinda warm feeling, like when you step out of a cold room into the sun?” replied Dixie.

“Yes, Yes! That! Do ya know what that means?!” responded Alfred, like an eager puppy.

“Considering your expression, you’re just going to tell me in a few seconds anyway.” deadpanned Dixie.

“Tex and Cali made a compact together! Oooh, I’m so proud. Maybe they’ll get together after this. You know how they’ve both been wanting each other since the twenties!” gushed Alfred.

“Why don’t we focus on getting them back before you start playing matchmaker? Hmm.” sighed Dixie. Turning to address the Europeans he said, “Sorry about that, Jack just really doesn’t want them to keep destroyin’ his property whenever they see each other. It’s also kinda upsetting that they don’t realize the fact that they both actually feel the same.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” sighed England. “How close are we to being done? We’ve been driving for close to 6 hours now.”

“We’re just about in Mississippi. We’re gonna go through to Louisiana and Texas. End of the road is Houston. We’re ‘bout halfway done.” responded Alfred.

England nodded in response and turned to stare out the window, he didn’t often travel in the states, since he was here mostly for business. The south so far had been an odd mash of vibrant, lush, forest and fields of peanuts, corn, and some cotton. It was very different from home. Much warmer, and very sunny. The changing scenery also provided a distraction from Prussia and his guilt. Guilt that he had accidentally hurt France. 'He wasn’t sad that France was hurt. No, of course not.' 

Most of the trip was uneventful. 2 hours later everyone stopped after crossing the Mississippi (through Baton Rouge) to stretch their legs and admire the river. 10 minutes after that they were back on the road. 

When they finally arrived in Houston everyone was exhausted. They had been traveling nonstop, except for the buying of the peanuts and the stretching of their legs, for roughly 15 hours. There was a cheap motel on the west side of Houston that they decided to crash at. There was nothing special, actually, it was kinda sucky, but it had beds and free breakfast. So it had all they needed, it just wasn’t comfortable.

“Well, the awesome me is gonna sleep on the bed. The rest of you losers can figure it out on your own,” said Prussia, quickly claiming a bed for himself.

England sighed and moved to take the chair, while Alfred and Dixie were left to sleep on the floor. Rather quickly, despite the poor sleeping arrangements, they all fell into a somewhat comfortable sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh. Canada's suspicious of something. honestly, it probably won't be a big deal. Or will it? I don't know, haven't made up my mind. But thanks for getting this far!
> 
> Also, does anyone know how to add italics?


	9. Food for Thought

_ When last we met our heroes… _

 

The next morning dawned bright and clear. It was the kind of morning that made you want to go outside and spend all day somewhere quiet in nature. Ironic, then, that California and Texas were stuck in the confines of the house and garden. They had woken up early to start on breakfast. Texas settled on bacon and eggs, while California went for a more dignified fruit parfait. As they cooked they also began to plan their way out.

 

This planning went the usual way, in that soon after they started they began to have an argument. It was pointless and did nothing to help the situation. It had begun about where they would run to, when they would run, and how they would effectively escape recapture, but ended up about which breakfast was better.

 

This argument continued on for quite some time. They only stopped when they noticed that the bacon was burning on the stove.   
  


“Fuck,” snarled Texas, “Look what you’ve done.”

 

“I’ve done?!” gasped California, indignant, “I’m not the one cooking bacon. I haven’t touched it once.”

 

“Buenos Dias.” interrupted Mexico, coming into the kitchen. “What is the breakfast today?”

 

“Eggs, fruit, and bacon,” replied California, suddenly civil.

 

Texas grunted and left the room, giving Mexico a stink eye on the way out. Mexico turned and made as if to follow him, but sat down at the table and ate breakfast instead. 

 

Breakfast having been finished, Mexico left the room after giving instructions on what to do that day.

 

“Well, hermano, thanks for the breakfast. If you could clean the kitchen again, and prepare lunch and dinner that would be bien. And please find Tejas and bring him back. Past that, you are free to do what you want so long as you don’t leave the property. I’ll be working in town, but I’ll be back for dinner, most likely.” With that said, Mexico left.

 

As soon as Mexico left the kitchen, California slumped against the table, letting out an exhausted sigh. He didn’t mind Mexico, but he did not want to be reunited with him through a kidnapping.  He would have much rather gone to meet him on his own terms, although he supposed that this whole ordeal would bring to light many things about America of which the  _ international community _ was unaware. He loved Alfred (in a very platonic sort of way, America was his surrogate father, and the states were his family), but he kept too many secrets to be healthy.

 

Standing he began to prepare some more breakfast. Texas hadn’t eaten yet and was known for having a large appetite. Eggs and bacon went on the plate first. That was the food Texas had been preparing before he left, and was the best bet for what he would eat. After those had been dished up he began a bowl of fruit. 

 

Grabbing a knife California began to slice oranges and pears. As he was slicing the second orange his knife slipped and cut his palm.

 

“Argh, Fuck. Oh, God damn it.” snarled California, clutching his palm. He quickly wiped the knife clean of blood and wrapped his hand with a rag before putting his gloves back on to better cover up his injury.

 

After all of the blood had been somewhat washed away, and his hand had been bandaged California gathered the remains of the breakfast and went out to find Texas. 

 

“Tejas, I’ve got food,” called California, “And Mexico’s gone now. You really ought to eat something.”

 

No one answered for a solid 5 minutes. California, however, was somewhat patient and just sat on the block by the water pump waiting for Texas to come out and get the food. A crunch of the old gravel path caused California to look up as Texas’ approached him.

 

Handing Texas the dish he said, “Breakfast, you damn reb.”

 

~Meanwhile (Congress is fighting over where to put the capitol)~

 

Texas hated this whole situation. He didn’t like Mexico. He didn’t like being restricted. He didn’t like being away from his home. Most importantly though, he didn’t like being so close to California and having to refrain from causing bodily harm. Not that he wanted to hurt California, no, he just didn’t want anyone to know, especially California, that he didn’t really hate him all that much. Or at all.

 

He quickly made his way to the back of the garden, where no one would see him. Hiding in a corner is not very brave, but he had no other viable options at the moment.

 

Once he had deemed himself well hidden, he began to think through his options. He could leave now, run away and never look back till he crossed the border. That was what he did right before he declared himself independent. That wouldn’t work now, however. He had made a promise to California to help him, so he couldn't leave alone. He might be able to get his things back and run out in a blaze of glory. That might give California a chance to escape. But really, what could he do? He was stuck. He was unable to get himself out, and he was unable to get California out.

 

California’s voice startled him out of his revery. “Tejas, I’ve got food. And Mexico’s gone now. You really ought to eat something.”

 

Texas’ stomach growled in response, he hadn’t eaten at all that day. However, his pride stopped him from immediately receiving the food. California had prepared it, so it was probably good, but it would be odd to receive anything from someone he professed to hate without questioning the circumstances before.

 

California. He was something else. As soon as you thought you had him figured out, he went and changed. He used to be such a sweet little kid. He grew into a determined, strong, and prideful being. Holding his own in the Civil War and WWI. Slowly, throughout the twenties, California had slowly become more than a fellow state. He had become someone to care for. Texas began to do his best for that end, sending him any spare change he could scrounge up during the Great Depression. Volunteering for the more dangerous missions and jobs in WWII. After WWII, they continued to fight and argue but for him it was more of a show, to make sure that if Cali didn’t feel the same he wouldn’t be rejected.

 

Sighing Texas stood up, breaking his ruminations and deciding to get the food, he was hungry anyway. 

 

California looked up as he approached, a slight smirk overlaying a slight grimace of pain, “Breakfast, you damn reb.” he smiled, handing him the platter of eggs, slightly overcooked bacon and oranges.

 

“Thanks,” grumbled Texas, quickly grabbing the food and wolfing it down. After he had finished he looked more closely at California. He was curled around his left hand slightly. His gloves were on, and he seemed to be in pain.

 

“Hey,” began Texas, “what’s with your hand?”

 

California jerked his head up quickly, surprise and a wary defense present in his features for a brief moment before he composed himself into a cool neutrality.

 

“My hand? Nothing, it’s perfectly fine,” he said, looking away.

 

Texas sighed, “No, it’s not, you’re lying. I’ve known you long enough to tell that much.”

 

“Fuck off. Whether it’s hurt or not is none of your business. And I’m fine.” snapped California in response.

 

Texas didn’t believe him for a second, but let it go. They had other things to do anyway.

 

~~Time Skip~~

 

They had cleaned the casa twice over and made a decent dinner by the time Mexico returned from where he had been. They had also planned an escape and retrieved all of their effects that Mexico had taken from them upon their arrival at the old casa. That night they slept with a sense of purpose. Tomorrow they would be leaving Mexico. Tomorrow they would be returning to the Union.

 

Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment and give kudos, since those keep me going. I hope you've enjoyed reading this. 
> 
> A preemptive happy Veterans Day/Armistice Day. 100 years since the end of WWI. Yay!
> 
> I would also like to mention that California is on fire again, the Camp Fire up in Butte County.


	10. States on a Plane (and other occurrences that occur when America is out of State)

_The states deal with the home front. Canada is done._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The states hurried out of the room and back into the car. Illinois took the weel, while Mass sat shotgun. Kentucky and Colorado sat in the back.

“Alright, Illinois, I want you to drop Kentucky and Colorado at the Potomac Airport.” began Massachusetts. “You know the one, in Maryland. When we get there, Kentucky and Colorado, you’ll make the necessary phone calls and get New Mexico and Arizona out as soon as you can. You can decide who will fly, but I expect a report on your status and the status of New Mexico and Arizona by the end of the day. Illinois, after you drop ‘em off, we’re gonna head back to the house. All clear?”

“No worries,” replied Colorado. “We’ll figure it out.”

Kentucky just grunted in acknowledgment “Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.”

“Good.” nodded Mass, turning to her phone to send a text to the rest of the thirteen.

Kentucky and Colorado were left at the airport while Illinois took Mass back to the house.

~~Wait for it~~

Illinois retreated quickly into his room once he arrived back at the house. 

Massachusetts, however, sat in the demolished living room and prepared herself mentally for what was to come. With one last sigh, she picked up the phone and began the 13-way video conference that was the Council.

“I assume all of you received the text I sent an hour ago?” began Massachusetts.

A general murmur of assent rose from the rest, though some seemed more irritated than others.

“Why did you call us?” queried New York after everyone had quieted down some. “Didn’t you have the meeting today?”

“Yes,” replied Mass shortly, “It was interrupted.”

A ripple of concern went through the rest of the thirteen at this.

“How was it interrupted?” Virginia ventured.

“Mexico,” was the reply, “he came and took Texas and California.”

Immediately everyone started shouting their outrage. Massachusetts’s calls for silence went unheard, and everyone began to yell at their neighbors.

“ENOUGH!” shouted Virginia, once she noticed that no one was paying attention to Mass, who was supposed to be in charge of the meeting. Immediately everyone else shut up. “Thank you. Now, Mass, let me get this straight. You were at the meeting, Mexico interrupted sed meeting, took Texas and California somewhere probably Mexico, and now we’re here. Is that correct?”

“Yes, America and South have gone to get them back, with the help of the General and England.” answered Mass, “America asked me to hold this meeting, probably so we could create some order while he’s gone. He asked Illinois to make sure the rest were prepared, Colorado and Kentucky were in charge of the protection of Arizona and New Mexico. He wants them moved north for their safety.”

“Why the fuck is he with  _ England _ ?” snarled New Hampshire, “Has he gone tory?”

“We should probably do something about that, then.” decided Georgia.

“A prohibition, maybe?” suggested South Carolina.

“How about temporary relief from duty? Give South his job for a month or so?” added North Carolina.

“Wait,” began Maryland, “Are we not going to worry about the fact that two of the states were captured by another country? That’s grounds for war, you know”

“No, they can take care of themselves. What we really need to worry about is the fact that America is with England,” responded Rhode Island.

“Yes,” continued Connecticut, “It is rather concerning. We are allies politically, but is it wise to trust England with the knowledge that the states do exist? Probably not.”

Delaware finished her sister's statement, “The fact that he is trusting England with this information is dangerous. If he starts with this what else might he give away? I have complete faith in him. However, I do not believe that he made the proper decision.”

“The awesome me will call a vote.” interrupted Pennsylvania, “All in favor of leaving the meeting at this, leaving the fates of Texas and California up to them and making sure that America hasn’t gone tory, say yea.”

10 yeas were heard, from New Hampshire, Rhode Island, North and South Carolina, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Delaware, and Virginia.

The 3 nays came from Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Georgia.

“Alright. Since it is in favor to deal with America going tory, what should the punishment be?” asked Massachusetts, “I suggest relieving him of duty for a month. All in favor?”

This movement garnered North Carolina’s vote, as well as New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, South Carolina (who followed after her brother), and Massachusetts.

“It is decided then.” nodded Virginia. “When America gets home we will tell him the results. South can take his position for the month.”

“I now declare this meeting OVER! See you later losers!” shouted Pennsylvania

~~a change of scene~~

The thirteen were a very loud bunch, used to arguing over everyone else to be heard. Illinois could hear parts of their conversation from his room in the basement. Sighing he began to make calls to each of the states. Each conversation was pretty much the same, 

“ _ Hello? _ ” a state would ask

“Yes, hello. I’m calling to tell you to be on high alert until told otherwise. Alfred’s gone down to Mexico to take Texas and California back.” he would reply.

The state would respond with some form of shock. Some were more concerned than others, Alabama burst into tears, and Oklahoma let out a slew of curses. While they were still processing the information Illinois would hang up and call the next state on the list.

This process went on until he had called every state, about an hour and a half. As he finished he heard Massachusetts call him up.

“Hey, goombah, get your ass up here and help me clean up the house!” 

“Alright, alright. I’m coming. Jeez.” he sighed, heading up the stairs.

The house was cleaned quickly, the table and windows repaired, glass swept up, and the door fixed and the pentagram scrubbed off with holy water. After everything was put in order the house seemed bare, but it was livable and presentable.

~~back to the airport~~

Kentucky and Colorado didn’t even see the car drive off, they were already halfway across the lobby. As they ran out onto the runway the man behind the front desk tried to stop them.

“Hey, Sirs, you have to check in and provide proper identification. You can’t just walk out. You also need to pay.”

Colorado turned around. Walking to meet him she showed him her government ID. “Is this good enough? We just need a small bush plane with enough fuel to get us to Albuquerque.”

The man seemed somewhat shocked, “Um, ma'am I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Yes, we can get you a plane ready right now. Will you be flying?”

“No,” she replied, “He will be. He’s the one who has to do this anyways.”

He looked to Kentucky. “I assume you have the same clearance as Ms. Jones?”

“Yes. I do. And we’re on a time limit, so if you don’t mind we’ll be on our way now.” he snapped.

“Of course sir. Right away. I’ll call in to make sure a plane is ready for you.” he smiled nervously, retreating behind the desk.

Both states moved outside to the tarmac. Kentucky moved to get the plane prepared for the flight while Colorado called New Mexico and Arizona.

“New Mexico. How are you?” she began.

_ “Hi, Colorado. I’m fine, I heard the news though. Illinois called. Are we moving out?” _ New Mexico said a slight nervousness present in her voice.

“Yeah, you and Arizona are gonna be going up north,” responded Colorado

_ “Ok. Well, where are flying in to? I’m assuming you’ll be flying?” _

“Albuquerque. The smaller airport to the northwest. Kentucky’s going to be there to get you.” nodded Colorado, “There’s going to be a layover to get Arizona, and then I’ll call with the final destination.”

“ _ Alright, adios.” _

Colorado nodded again to herself and dialed up another of her many sisters, Arizona.

“Arizona. I assume you heard?” she began.

“ _ About Alta and Tejas? Yes, I heard. Where do you want me? Are we going to be getting them back? Does America need my help?”  _ Arizona sent out a flurry of questions.

“No, if you could wait at Flagstaff, Kentucky’s going to take you up north. America’s orders, and for your safety,” said Colorado.

_ “But what about Alta and Tejas?” _ cried Arizona.

“Alfred’s taking care of that. Don’t worry.” sighed Colorado.

“ _ Fine. I’ll be there,” _ grumbled Arizona, right before she hung up.

Colorado sighed again before dialing one last number. This time to her brother.

“Hello, Maine.” she began

“Hello, Colorado. What can I do for you?” the pleasant-mannered state answered.

“Would you mind letting Arizona and New Mexico live with you for a while?” queried Colorado

“Ayuh, that would be no problem. How will they get here?”

“Kentucky’s going to fly them in. And you’re sure you’re cool with this?”

“Ayuh. See them then, then.” and he hung up.

Colorado smiled slightly, everything had gone smoothly.

“Kentucky!!” she called “Fly Albuquerque to Flagstaff to Augusta, cool?”

“Got it.” he nodded.

~~the change of scene they use in Indiana Jones, with the map and the plane~~

The flights had gone smoothly, both New Mexico and Arizona were waiting for him to touch down, and had packed for an extended stay. However, by the time they reached Maine, everyone was exhausted. 

“Hello. New Mexico, Arizona, Kentucky.” greeted Maine once they got out of the airport.

“Hello, Maine.” grinned New Mexico, always friendly.

“Well, get in the car.” said Maine, rather impatient, “and Kentucky, I set a bed for you as well. You can go back tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” nodded Kentucky, grateful that he wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch or in a crappy hotel somewhere.

The drive to Maine’s home was quick, and there was warm food ready on the table. Kentucky sent a quick text to Colorado and Massachusetts to tell them that they had all arrived in Maine safely and that he would fly back in the morning.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Canada was done. There was no other way to describe how he was feeling. Just done. Why he had offered to be in charge of the rest of the countries while Alfred took a quick trip to Mexico was beyond him.

Actually, that was a lie. He knew what he was doing. He wanted to protect Alfred’s privacy like the good brother he was, and prevent the rest of the countries find about the states. Unfortunately the two nations he wanted to know the whereabouts of were not with him. His boyfriend (unofficially, who knew how France would react to finding out his best friend was dating his little colony) Prussia, and England. 

Most of the nations were acting decently. Germany, Italy, and Japan were spending the time to explore DC in greater detail. Spain and Romano spent their time arguing and comforting France, in Spain’s case, or following Italy and yelling at Germany, Romano’s case. Russia was watching Canada. This freaked him out, another reason he wanted Prussia to be there with him, so he could have a distraction from Russia’s creepiness. France, however, was taking this the worse. Since no one knew where England was, he had taken to locking himself in his room with a bottle of wine.

Speaking of France, a fresh round of sobs came from his room. Canada hurried in to comfort him as best he could.

“Why. Why did he leave?” sobbed France, “Angleterre is with Amérique, I know it. Am I not enough for him?” 

“No, Papa.” comforted Canada, “I’m sure England isn’t doing anything with America.”

France launched himself into Canada's arms and dissolved into a fresh round of tears. Eventually, France tired himself out and fell into a restless sleep. Canada put him to bed and set out a glass of water and painkillers on the bedside table for when he woke up. With one last look at France, he left the room.

By the second day, Canada’s levels of done had skyrocketed through the roof. His levels of nervousness had also risen, as England and Prussia had made no signs of showing up anytime soon.

Around midmorning he decided to give Alfred a call, to see how much longer he would have to deal with all of the nations alone.

He answered the phone with  _ “Yello, this is the great U.S. of A. speaking. Whadda ya want? _ ”

“Yes, hello Alfred.” smiled Canada “I was just wondering, how long will it take you to get back?”

_ “Well, considering the fact that this is just the second day of being gone, I don’t really know. I figure 5-6 days? We’re just about to hit Mississippi.” _ snarked America

“Please come back soon. I don’t know how you stand it. Being the center of attention all the time. It’s exhausting, eh.” he had begun begging, huh, he must be more done than he thought.

_ “Oh chill Canada. It’s not that bad.” _ laughed America,  _ “Besides, I’m sure you’re doing a better job keeping the peace than I am.” _

“I wouldn’t call this peaceful. Russia is plotting your demise or something. He’s just sitting in a corner and everyone is afraid he’s going to murder us soon. Papa is very upset. He wants his ‘Angleterre’ and has resorted to drinking wine and pestering everyone. Germany is also worried since none of us know where Prussia is, or England for that matter.” ranted Canada “… Wait. What do you mean ‘We’?”

_ “Umm. Well, you see. Uh.” _ America's tone immediately became nervous and defensive

“Just spit it out. Who are you with?” Canada snapped with irritation.

_ “FINE!! Jeez, Mattie, you’d think you’d be a little more polite huh, I’m with Prussia and Iggy right now. Don’t worry about it.” _

“Why the hell are you with them. Wait, if you’re on the phone who’s driving? Since I know for a fact you won’t let either of them drive your cars.”

_ “Look, Canadia, I love you and all, but I really gotta go right now. Chiao. Oh, and tell France that Iggy’s with me, and he doesn’t have to worry about someone making moves on his man, ok? Bye.” _

Canada laughed slightly in exasperation. Alfred was hiding something and he was going to find out what. However, at the moment he had some nations to take care of. Telling France where England was would probably lead to another day of drinking so he told Germany instead.

All he had to do now was wait for America to get back, and he could retreat into blissful oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you liked please consider leaving a kudos or a comment.
> 
> This was requested from the last chapter, and since I didn't feel like writing about America and Co anymore I decided to go with it. Hopefully, this satisfies your desires.
> 
> A goombah is an Italian mafioso.


	11. Thanksgiving (non-update)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving (or you already did -Canada-) happy 4th Thursday of November!

Since we like to celebrate the racial and cultural genocide that the US participated in by gathering with our families for a big feast and supporting the poor and needy.

In other words, this is what I'm thankful for this year.

1\. You. The reader. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my story. It really means a lot.

2\. That it rained yesterday. It is now the rainy season, and I can curl up with hot chocolate and watch movies. Who needs snow when you can have rain? There is no need to shovel snow out of your driveway, very convenient.

3\. That my home hasn't burned down or been washed away in a flood. Boy I love California (I do, but that was still slightly sarcastic)

4\. Good food, friends, and family (in that order)

Thank you again and have a nice Thanksgiving!

 

Question, what are you thankful for? (you don't have to answer if you don't want, but everyone needs some positivity)


	12. Carry me back to old Virginny Pt. 1 (the actual chapter 11)

Waking up the next morning after falling asleep in a chair is not a pleasant experience. You tend to have cricks and cramps in your neck and back, often leaving you cold and very irritable. When these circumstances are applied to a normally grumpy British man, the results can be disastrous. Prussia discovered this when he went to wake up England, after noticing that Alfred and Dixie had ended up curled together as they slept. (In his defense they both looked very cute)

 

“Hey, brows!” whisper shouted Prussia, “Wake up! Look at how cute they are!”

 

England groaned and ignored Prussia.

 

“Brows, you can’t ignore the awesome me,” he whined, shaking England, “Come on, wake up and look at them--”

 

He was interrupted by England’s hand around his throat. England was looking at him now, but his eyes had lost the bleariness of sleep. They were sharp and deadly. 

 

“Hwa beþenċest ðu ġewyrċ? Don’ you knah i’s rude ‘o wake ‘he sleepin?”

 

Prussia was very quickly reminded of why this man was once considered one of the worst pirates, and why he was able to manage such a large empire for so long. He very quickly scrambled away, as best he could, from England. Prussia twisted out of his grasp and accidentally tripped over America and Dixie, who were still sleeping on the floor.

 

“Achhh,” grumbled America blearily, blinking his eyes open.

 

Dixie let out a whine and curled more into Alfred.

 

“Geddoff me Butternut,” complained Alfred.

 

“Naw. I ain’t gonna.  _ Tory _ .”

 

America jumped up, spilling the blankets, and Dixie, onto the ground.

 

“That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I am not just some  _ pillow _ ! I may have a cuddly personality, but I’ll have you know that I am more than a shits and giggles guy. I demand --”

 

“Oh, will you just bloody shut up for once in your life?” snapped England, finally distracted from his mission to kill Prussia for waking him up. He ran a hand through his hair, though it didn’t do much, as his hair was just as messy as before.

 

“Hey, I didn’t say nothin that warn’t true Iggy. You’re just jealous.”

 

“No, I’m not. Especially with your blatant, and flagrant, misuse of the Queen’s English.”

 

Dixie sighed. “As much as I would love to defend my English, we do have things to do today, so if we could get out the door before noon that would be great.”

 

That said, Dixie retreated to the bathroom to clean himself as much as possible. The rest of them packed what they had brought in the night before, and went down to see what there was for breakfast. 

 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t any, so they got some snacks and energy drinks at the nearest gas station, as well as some gas for the car, before setting off westward towards Laredo.

 

~~ Four Hours Later ~~

 

The four of them stopped in Laredo for the night. America was a firm believer in a day of peace before war and decided to cross the border in the morning. Dixie gave England and Prussia a quick tour of the town while Alfred went to secure their passage over the border. 

 

The next morning dawned bright and clear, despite the humidity. All of them made it through the border without a hassle. Even the prevalence of firearms, knives, and highly dangerous chemicals didn’t stop them from passing through. However, all of their silverware and leftovers were confiscated. England was confused, why would they let guns and explosives through, but not leftover food and forks? Alfred noticed his confused expression and nudged Dixie, who laughed.

 

“It’s cause we had Louis charm the car, so humans won’t notice any weapons or potential weapons.” noticing England’s still confused face, he expanded, “Louisiana.”

 

“Ah. Well, why on earth would they consider food and silverware dangerous?”

 

“No idea Artie. People are just weird sometimes, I guess.”

 

“Don’t  _ call _ me that, you  _ git _ .”

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Texas refused to let California make breakfast the next morning. He didn’t care if California refused to tell him what was wrong or acknowledge that there was anything wrong in the first place. He was going to make damn well sure that California came back alive, it was in his contract for god's sake. And Texas would be damned if he went back on his word.

 

California just sat at the table, silent and seemingly dead to the world. Texas had found him sitting there when he came down in the morning. Aside from attempting to help make breakfast, he didn’t move at all. He didn’t even react when Texas slammed down a plate of eggs right in front of him. 

 

“Eat, you damn fool. I can’t have you passin’ out on me when we get outta here. Ya haven't had a decent meal since we got here. I don’t even know when the last time you ate  _ was _ .  _ Please _ .” Texas suddenly looked very disgusted at himself. “God. What am I doin’ beggin’ like that?”

 

California did not move or acknowledge that Texas had spoken at all. Texas himself was about to continue his monologue, but Mexico suddenly stormed into the kitchen. Texas jumped up and stood before California as if to protect him.

 

“How?” snarled Mexico, “How on earth did you tell America where you are?”

 

“Oh, ‘Murica’s comin’ and you have no way to shake him? Well, bless your heart. What would you have me do?” said Texas, sarcasm dripping off his words.

 

Mexico let out a wordless snarl and grabbed both of the states, dragging them back to their bedroom. Texas struggled the whole way, but California was just limp in Mexico’s arms. Once they arrived Mexico again locked them in, however, both could hear Mexico barricading the door from the outside, preventing their escape.

 

Texas stormed around the room, trying and failing to find a way out. He had a gun, his lasso, and California had a switchblade. All in all, not much if they wanted to get out alive.

 

After about an hour and a half of Texas pacing the length of the room, snarling insults that would have had his mouth washed with soap by Romano, California spoke.

 

“I’m sorry. This is probably my fault anyway.”

 

Texas jerked his head up in surprise, he hadn’t been expecting any input from him. California continued anyway.

 

“You would be gone now if it weren’t for me. The contract was my idea, and now you’re bound. You can’t leave without me. I’m hella sorry.”

 

It was strange, to say the least, to hear the normally so proud state apologizing, especially to Texas someone he spent much of his time trying to inconvenience.

 

“No. California, none of this is your fault. You didn’t ask Mejico to come and take us here. See, we know Jack is here, and if he’s here so is Johnny. So we’ll probably be home soon.”

 

“No one knows where Spain’s house  _ is _ . They might be in Mexico, but they don’t know where exactly we are.”

 

“Wait and see, California, wait and see. I have faith in them. Do you?”

 

California sighed, and nodded slowly. Texas smiled quietly and moved to sit in the middle of the room facing the door, gun in hand. After about a minute, California sat next to him, his switchblade out on his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hwa beþenċest ðu ġewyrċ - pronounced ‘hwa bethencest dhu gewyrc’, roughly means “what do you think you’re doing” in old English
> 
> Butternut - a northern term for a Confederate soldier since their uniforms were dyed with butternut after they ran out of grey fabric and dye
> 
> Johnny Reb - another northern term for Confederate soldiers, they rebelled from the Union
> 
> Tory - a colonist who supported England during the American Revolution (but I'd hope you already knew that)
> 
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Yay!! I've finished. The actual chapter I wrote just kept getting longer and longer, so this is the average length I write for, and I'll have the rest of the chapter up hopefully soon. It's almost done, in any case.
> 
> If you liked it, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Carry me back to old Virginny Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second half! Yay! 
> 
> comments are my coffee, so if you want another chapter soon, comments are appreciated,
> 
> so without further ado, Enjoy!

Chapter 12:

 

“Damn. This place is awesome. Even by my standards. Though, not as awesome as my crib.”

 

“Of course Prussia, of course.” sighed England, not even sparing him a glance. All of them were starstruck at the house the map had led them to. It was a sprawling Spanish villa, still imposing despite the obvious age.

 

“Well. Does everyone know what’s going down?” asked Alfred, obviously ready to move.

 

“Yessiree. Me an Prussia are goin’ in back. Gonna go in and git out with Tex and Cal.” answered Dixie, “You an England are running interference, England is sniping, and you’re up front.”

 

“Damn straight. Alright boys, let's go!” cheered Alfred. He was smiling a violent and cunning grin. Both European nations were again reminded that while America may act like an idiot most of the time, he had come out on top of the world for a reason. Dixie shared his smile and slipped out of the car, pistol in hand, moving quickly around to the side of the house, Prussia following.

 

America moved forward to the front door apparently unarmed, he had a pistol in his jacket and a knife up his sleeve, and knocked. England sat on top of the car, with a clear view of the front door and a sniper rifle in his lap. The door opened soon after he knocked, and Mexico came out.

 

“America. Hola. I was expecting you, unfortunately. Are you not strong enough to fight your own battles? Do you need  _ big bwother _ to come and save you now?”

 

“Mexico. I am, as you well know, perfectly capable of taking care of myself. In fact, I would be worried about your health and safety, not mine.”

 

“How rude, America, how rude.” he tsked, “Now tell me. What did you hope to achieve by coming all this way?”

 

“You took Texas and California. I’ve come to get them back.”

 

“And you think you can just ask for them back? They are their own people. Let them decide. Isn’t that your whole spiel? Letting people choose their future? Who are you to deny that to your states?”

 

“I’m not asking. And if they wanted to be with you, why didn’t they stay with you in the ’40s?”

 

~~Meanwhile~~

 

The garden was in poor condition. It would have appeared abandoned except for the dripping water from the pump. Dixie and Prussia slipped quietly into the kitchen without any trouble, as the door was surprisingly unlocked. Here there was evidence of habitation, an untouched plate of eggs next to a glass of water and dirty dishes. Unfortunately, there were no people here. 

 

They could both hear Mexico and America talking at the front door as they moved into the hallway to try and find where the states might be.

 

“Look, there.” Prussia nudged Dixie and pointed to a door blockaded by odd bits of furniture. The door was right in the middle of the hallway, but fortunately out of sight from the front door. Both began to remove the furniture as quickly and quietly as they could.

 

~~Some more concurrent events~~

 

Texas cocked his gun when he heard the barricade being removed. California moved to stand by the door to grab Mexico when he walked in, while Texas stood in front of the door to distract him with a gun to his face. The doorknob jiggled slightly before a click was heard and the door opened. As soon as the figure stepped into the room California grabbed him by the collar and put his knife up to his throat. Texas made a move as if to shoot, then suddenly lowered his gun, a slightly crazed laugh coming from his lips.

 

“Howdy boys. How’ve you been?” grinned Dixie, despite the fact that he currently had a knife to his throat. California quickly let him go.

 

“Sorry.” he mumbled to his shoes, “Didn’t realize it was you.”

 

“That’s apparent, Cal. You boys ready to go? Oh, and Tex, this map is for you.” 

 

Texas took the map Dixie offered him as he left the room. The map glowed green, and then Texas was holding another gun. California snorted at the irony and walked past him into the hallway. Prussia, who had been watching Mexico’s back to make sure he didn’t move, noticed that they were all in the hallway and began to move back to the kitchen. The rest followed silently, and once Tex, who had been taking up the rear, got into the kitchen they locked the door.

 

They almost made it to the car when they heard a shout from the front of the house.

 

“Damn. Mejico noticed us.”

 

“No  _ shit _ , Cali boy.”

 

California was about to snap back at Texas when they heard a gunshot and quickly approaching footsteps. Behind them, they saw America running up the drive towards the car. Dixie shoved them into the car, sliding into the back with Prussia as England took the passenger side.

 

Alfred reached the car, got in, and they were off. For the first few miles, all you could hear was the growl of the engine over an awkward silence. However, about an hour in California began to get restless. He had been unfortunate enough to get in last, so he did not have an actual seat and was cramped on the floor by Prussia, who was as far from Texas as you could be in such an enclosed space. He was shifting around trying to find a comfortable position while also hiding his injury from the overprotective gaze of Alfred. He was also nervous, as he hadn’t officially met either Prussia or England. Sure he had heard about them, but he had never interacted with them.

 

“I guess I’ll, like, start this show then,” he began, the words leaving his mouth in an incredibly rushed manner. “Hello. I’m California, but you can call me Cal. And I’ve heard, like,  _ a lot _ about you both, so I guess if you could, like, introduce yourselves, that would be great, and I, like, have a couple of questions about why exactly you guys are here. Since like,  _ literally _ no one knows about the Casa España, except for, like, the Spanish. So how did you find us, exactly? And I’m, like, hella sorry. I’m rambling again, but these are hella important questions, so if you could maybe answer them that would be great. And you probably already know Jack and Johnny, so you’re probably wondering who we are, like, ‘Who the fuck  _ are _ these kids? Why are  _ they _ important?’ and I totally understand, like, I know I’m not that important, and I’m hella annoying and you probably want me to shut the fuck up now. Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep talking so much. Alfred, could you put in Pet Sounds? I’m pretty sure it’s in this car. Thanks, dude.”

 

Alfred nodded and asked England to pull out the CD while Prussia began to introduce himself.

 

“Hallo. I am the awesome Prussia, also known to you losers as The General. I am, as you all know, extremely and amazingly awesome, and --”

 

“Terribly sorry to interrupt,” interjected England, not sounding very sorry at all, “But are you sure you want Pet Sounds? Sergeant Pepper is here as well.”

 

“No,” snapped California, “Pet Sounds. Actually, could you pass me Sergeant Pepper? I’d like to throw it out the window.”

 

England was about to retaliate with a comment on how The Beatles were better than The Beach Boys any day of the week and how defenestrating Sergeant Pepper was a dishonor on everything sacred, but Alfred hastily interrupted both of them.

 

“Look, we could go back and forth over which was better, but in the grand scheme of things, neither matters. The Rolling Stones is where it’s at, anyway. So Iggy, could you please put in Pet Sounds?  _ Thank you _ . Also, we’re just about to reach the border. Texas and California, I’d like you to remain inconspicuous until we’re stateside.”

 

They crossed the border without incident (all four Americans relaxed once they were out of Mexico, though Texas seemed the most at ease) and continued north-east back to Houston.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40’s - 1846-1848 was the Mexican American War, also the beginning of America’s imperial age, a war fought for the sole reason of gaining westward territory. The outcome of this war gave the US all of Mexico’s territory north of the Rio Grande, including California, but not Texas. Texas became a state in 1845 and essentially started the war.
> 
> Johnny - Johnny Reb, a Confederate soldier
> 
> Pet Sounds - a Beach Boys album, just as revolutionary as Sgt. Pepper, if not more.
> 
> \-------------------------  
> If you enjoyed, please consider dropping a comment or a kudos. This chapter's title is misleading. They won't get back to Virginia until they arrive in DC and that's not even part of Virginia (though I like to think that Alfred lives in Virginia close to DC). I'm also accepting random quotes and facts that have no practical use. For example, did you know that Welshmen, when they immigrated to the US in the early 1900s, were experienced makers of tin plates?
> 
> Other than that, thanks for reading and I >might< have another chapter out in December. If not, happy holidays in advance!
> 
> P.S. I know my friends read this, thanks for proofreading and fixing my commas.


	14. The Flight Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! 20 days later and I've got some more! In other words, thanks in advance for reading, I really appreciate it. Happy preemptive New Years and I'll see you guys next year!

The drive to Houston went smoothly all things considered. California and Texas were ruffling each other's feathers like they usually do, though in a muted fashion. England had an odd feeling of deja vu as he watched them argue. He didn’t really know why, but he got the feeling that neither of them quite meant what they were saying.

 

They had stopped for a pick-me-up in Victoria at a small family owned diner before continuing on to Houston. As they were leaving the establishment England drew America to the side to talk to him.

 

“Alfred,” he began, “are they always like this?”

 

“No, actually. Usually, they’re worse. A lot worse. They’re like, I don’t know, diametrically opposed, foes.”

 

England shuddered slightly, imagining the headache that just those two would cause just by existing in his general vicinity for an extended period of time.

 

“I’m very sorry for you. How on earth do you manage?” He spoke from experience, after all, ruling a quarter of the world is quite the headache.

 

“A lot of Advil and whiskey. Tylenol also works.”

 

“Dear Lord.”

 

Alfred laughed, “Don’t worry old man, I’ve got it under control. We’ve lasted this long in any case. Now come on, I’d like to get to Houston before midnight.”

 

When they got back to the car Dixie was sitting shotgun talking with Prussia, calmly ignoring the chaos occurring in the back of the car. As Alfred slid into the driver’s side the argument ended quickly.

 

“What was it this time?” asked Alfred as everyone got settled (Texas was forced onto the ground this time around).

 

“Nothing” responded California quickly.

 

“It’s  _ not _ nothing. I just think you ought to practice what you preach. Which is transparency and honesty. Just get it out in the open.” interjected Texas.

 

“And  _ I _ told you it was none of your business, and why do  _ you _ care in the first place?” snapped California, starting the argument again.

 

“I’m a friendly person. It also reflects badly on me.”

 

“So it’s all about  _ you _ then,  _ Texas _ . Good to know.”

 

“Lord almighty, just take my advice! Suck up you god _ damned _ pride for once and fix it! No one  _ cares _ !”

 

“First of all, that's a lie. Secondly, who are you? ¿Mi madre?”

 

Before Texas could respond and make the disagreement even worse than it was, Dixie interrupted.

 

“Stop. You can argue on your own time, but we’ve got guests, so make a good impression.  _ Thank you _ .” turning to England and Prussia, he said, “I do apologize for their behavior. They are young still.”

 

England simply sighed, he was unfortunately used to arguments. His brothers were awful, and this was eerily similar to arguments the Ireland brothers sometimes got into, not to mention all of his arguments with France.

 

Prussia just laughed, “They’re American. I wouldn’t expect any less.”

 

~~Time Skip~~

 

They found a decent cheap motel on the outskirts of Houston and quickly got what they’d need out of the car, which wasn’t much. As they settled down to channel surf (Texas wanted football, England wanted BBC, Prussia wanted actual football ‘You mean soccer, right?’, and Dixie wanted the Food channel for some reason) Alfred took California out into the hallway.

 

“You’re all right, right?” he began.

 

“I’m fine,” smiled Cal, “ _ Really _ . Texas just wants to make a scene.”

 

“So you won’t mind if I ask you to take your gloves off? You kept them on the entire time we were traveling up, even to eat.”

 

California grimaced and sighed, “ _ Fine _ . I was making breakfast. It’s not that bad at all.” That said, he took off his left glove, revealing a poorly wrapped cut. It was deep and still oozing slightly, but it didn’t look infected which was fortunate.

 

“Not bad at all huh?” sighed Alfred, looking California in the eye and raising an eyebrow. “Come on. Let’s get it stitched up.”

 

That said, he bruskly took California past everyone on their way to the bathroom. The door shut quickly, and Alfred sat California on the counter in front of him.

 

“Daaad. It’s fiiine.” whined California, “I’m not a child.”

 

Alfred snorted and took out a needle and thread from somewhere on his person, “Course not. Also, your appeal to emotion won’t work on me.”

 

He sewed the cut closed quickly and as painlessly as he could manage before rebandaging California’s hand.

 

“There you go,” sighed Alfred, “And shame on you for thinking I wouldn’t notice. I notice everything.”

 

“Yes,” smirked California, finding an opening to tease Alfred, “You’re fucking paranoid is what you are.”

 

Alfred let out a small laugh and lightly cuffed Cal upside the head before heading back to the room to suggest watching Nickelodeon (Spongebob was going to be on soon).

 

~~The next morning~~

 

As they were all eating breakfast, England began to think. They had spent the night in the church, the night in Houston, the night in Laredo, and last night in Houston again. That made this the 5th day on the road. Alfred had said to reconvene the meeting in a week, and it had taken them 2 days to get down to Houston. Reasonably it would therefore take 2 days to get back. That would get them there the day before the meeting. But the second day had been long, and he didn’t expect Alfred to be able to tolerate having 6 people in his car for that long. If they took three days to travel to D.C. they would then arrive the day of the meeting, and that would mean they were late. And that would tarnish his image as a gentleman.

 

“Alfred,” He began, “How long were you thinking of taking to go back?”

 

“Ummm. I think two days if we can stand it. Probably closer to three though. Why?”

 

“You did remember that you rescheduled the meeting with the G8 to a week from five days ago right? We have two days to figure out what you’re going to say to the rest of the world.”

 

Texas frowned at this, he was clearly thinking something over very carefully.

 

California noticed, “You finally trying to find a use for that brain of yours?”

 

Texas didn’t respond beyond the cursory ‘Shut up’ and completely ignored California’s insult.

 

Finally he spoke, “Why are we driving? If you take a plane you can get to D.C. right quick. And I know for certain that at least one of y’all’s a pilot.”

 

The rest began to laugh, while Alfred assumed an expression of embarrassment. He responded with a tone of wounded pride, “We  _ were _ driving because I hadn’t thought to fly.”

 

~~At le airport~~

 

There were a few planes to choose from that could carry all six of them easily, but Alfred chose the one he thought was coolest. A Douglas C-47 Skytrain. This decision was met with opposition from everyone except Prussia. After about ten minutes of arguing Alfred and Prussia were successful in their choice of plane. Alfred christened himself the pilot, Dixie the co-pilot, Texas the navigator, and California the radio operator. However, England was quickly given the position of radio operator since California refused to accept the post. Once all of the usual chaos had been sorted out Alfred taxied the plane to the runway and they were off. California, Prussia, and England sat on the seats provided, while the other three sat in the front. California loaned his phone to England after he used the plane’s radio system to alert the DC airport that they would be landing in about 8 hours so he could call the Virginia home.

 

“Here, it’s under Potomac Plantation. Ask whoever answers to take the truck out to the airport. This way we’ll have enough space to take us all.”

 

England smiled with gratitude, “Thank you.”

 

California smiled, “No problem dude.” he then pulled a worn cross out of his pocket.

 

England made the call quickly. When he was done he alerted everyone that Illinois would be taking the truck out to the airport to meet them. Alfred nodded in understanding, before focusing again on flying the plane.

 

~~Time Skip~~

 

The flight to DC was smooth and they all arrived unharmed, though England was glad to be back on firm ground. He had never been particularly fond of flying, preferring the sea instead. Illinois was waiting for them when they left the plane next to a dirty Ford truck.

 

“Hop in. I’ve got stuff to do.” snapped Illinois. That said he slipped back into the driver's seat. There was a brief scuffle between Alfred and Dixie and Texas and California about who would sit where, it was settled when California and Dixie reluctantly sat in the truck bed. They made a brief stop on the way to the house at the hotel to drop off England and Prussia, so they could tell Germany that they were back, and so that they could relax some. After that was done the rest of them went home quickly to decide what to do next.

 

When they arrived the house was quiet.

 

“Don’t worry,” said Illinois, noticing the concerned expression on Alfred’s face, “Kentucky went possum hunting for supper, Mass is busy blessing the house to prevent the devil from corrupting the household, and Colorado is on the back porch smoking pot.”

 

“Thanks,” smiled Alfred in relief, “I thought they’d done each other in for a moment.” After that he burst into the house, jovially calling out to everyone.

 

Dixie sighed and followed in a more sedate manner. Texas and California both entered trying not to look at the other and moved to take a shower and clean up after their ordeal. Illinois locked the truck and followed them in, mentally preparing for the chaos that would be the family meeting after dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plane they're flying, the Douglas C-47 Skytrain, was in military use during WWII and the Vietnam war. It was used to transport troops, supplies, and the injured. I figured they'd all have some memory of this plane (which I didn't go into, but the cross is a hint of this). The plantation mentioned is Alfred's house, but there is no actual place called Potomac Plantation. I also don't encourage taking advil or tylenol with whiskey, it's an incredibly stupid thing to do.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please leave comments and kudos, they are greatly appreciated.


	15. Dixie kinda does want to be an American Idiot (and Albion is perfidious)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! A whole week early! Happy New Years and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm thinking there's going to be about one more after this. So yeah. Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> A thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos, they are greatly appreciated.

Prussia and England had arrived at the hotel in the early evening. The lobby had been mercifully empty, and they were able to arrive at their respective rooms without incident. They reached Prussia’s room first and both paused. This was the end of the line, everything they had done in the past almost week would have to be forgotten or at least very well hidden.

 

Prussia sighed, “I never knew he got more of them. Kinda wish he’d told the awesome me. You know?”

 

“Not really. It is none of my business what he does to himself,” began England, “but I do wish he’d told me. I suppose this just goes to show, he’s more than he seems.”

 

“Yeah... Hey, maybe Birdie’ll put in a good word for me so I can meet the rest of them!”

 

“Maybe.” sighed England, turning to head down the hallway, “Have a nice evening, Prussia. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Prussia was about to close the door when he called out to England, “Wait! You aren’t going to warn me off Canada?”

 

“No.” snapped England, a small smirk evident in his tone, “I assumed the frog would nag you enough that I wouldn’t have to bother. Now  _ Good Night _ , Prussia.”

 

Prussia sighed before turning into his room and closing the door. England briefly looked up and down the hallway before he closed his room’s door. He swore he felt someone watching him and Prussia as soon as they had arrived at the hotel. And that they had been listening to his and Prussia’s conversation. England shook his head slightly before moving into the bathroom to take a shower before a small dinner.

 

Canada stood at the end of the hallway, he had a lot to mull over. England and Prussia’s conversation had not proved to be as useful as he had hoped, but he did gain some information.  _ They didn’t talk about the man in the back of the truck, but I can find out who he was later. And I didn’t realize that Prussia already knew some of them, though it does make sense. And does England actually approve of me and Prussia, or does he just not care enough to bother? … I should probably make sure France is doing all right. _ Canada sighed softly and moved to knock on France’s door.

 

~~Keeping up with the Joneses~~

 

California had claimed the shower downstairs, so Texas went upstairs to use the other shower. Dixie meandered into the kitchen to help Colorado make dinner while Alfred enthusiastically hugged everyone he could reach, which was only Mass at the moment. She was squirming uncomfortably, since being given bone-crushing hugs is never a completely pleasant experience. 

 

“Stop! Stop!  _ Alfred! _ ” she squeaked, “Goddamnit, put me down!”

 

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly, “I’m just glad to be home.”

 

Massachusetts laughed before turning toward the kitchen to see if Kentucky had returned. Illinois and Kentucky were talking in the kitchen when they arrived, Colorado was fixing some greens, and Dixie was preparing the possum to make a quick burgoo. After a round of hugs for everybody Alfred began to set the table for dinner.

 

~~A skippage of time~~

 

After everyone had helped clear away the dishes Alfred called them all back into the dining room. As soon as they settled around the table, (Alfred at the head, Dixie at the foot, and the states along the sides so that clockwise they went in order of admission), Alfred called the family meeting to order.

 

“Alright. Before we decide what to do let’s go over what’s been done. Illinois, your report please.”

 

“Everyone was made aware of the situation. Nothing much to report altogether. I’ve called everyone again to tell them you were coming back.” Illinois said.

 

“Good. Thank you.” smiled Alfred, “Colorado and Kentucky, what have you got?”

 

“Well, we,  _ I _ , picked up Arizona and New Mexico and took ‘em up to Maine.” started Kentucky, “And Maine is fine as well. As far as I know they’re still up there.”

 

“New Mexico was nervous when I called her, didn’t really complain about the move” continued Colorado, “But Arizona wanted to go down and help you guys herself. Umm, I discouraged that. So yeah, they’re fine.”

 

“Thanks, both of you.” nodded Alfred, “And Mass, what did the 13 decide?”

 

“We discussed the situation very thoroughly,” she started.

 

“That’s a lie.” snorted Illinois, “I heard you. Anything less than thorough I can’t imagine.”

 

Mass sniffed and continued with a slightly superior tone, “And by vote we decided that due to possible treason you, the nation of the United States of America, would be relieved of your position for a month and the previous nation of the Confederate States of America, currently representative of the general south, would take your place for that amount of time.”

 

At this, Dixie let out a bark of laughter. Texas and California both looked shocked, while Kentucky, Illinois, and Colorado seemed slightly confused. Alfred, however, turned red, going through a million and one emotions in a split second before settling on anger.

 

“ _ TREASON!! _ ” he spluttered, indignant, “Why the  _ fuck _ would I commit treason against myself?! What even did I do that made you think I would even consider treason? I was getting Texas and California back. How on earth is that  _ treason _ ?!”

 

Mass looked slightly apologetic, “You spent time in close quarters with the Limey bastard. We were concerned that you would forget your duties and thus felt it necessary to give you some time away from international influences to remember. Confederacy is capable, and you’ve always said how much you want to come and visit everyone but never had the time. Here is your time.”

 

“That’s very thoughtful you.” smiled Dixie, “I would be honored to assume the responsibilities for the month.”

 

“But-- but-- The meeting,” stuttered Alfred weakly.

 

“Dixie can take care of that.” countered Mass firmly. “It’s been decided already. You can’t change it.”

 

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, Massachusetts?” interceded California, “At least give him until after the meeting. He did come and get us.”

 

“ _ No _ . It’s already been decided California.” she refused again.

 

“There, you see, it’s all been set. We must honor the decisions of the Council.” placated Dixie, “Jack, you did tell them to figure out what to do with this situation, did you not? And are you not a man of your word?”

 

Alfred grumbled and sank down into his chair. Dixie stood and walked around the table, “We must honor their decision, you know this.” then he reached out and took the glasses off Alfred and put them on. Alfred cast one last baleful look at Dixie, before stomping out of the room. Dixie sighed quietly, “Well. That’s it. Good night everybody. I can figure out what the meeting’s about later.”

 

As everyone else was standing to leave they heard a thump from the stairway. Texas ran out to see what happened. Alfred was laying on his back at the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Fall down the stairs?” he asked.

 

“Yep. Help me up Tex? I'm nearly blind as a bat.” sighed Alfred

 

Texas ended up helping Alfred up the stairs and into his room. “I’ll be up in the morning Dad, to help you down again.”

 

After that brief excitement, the house went quiet as they all settled down for the night. California and Colorado stayed up an hour catching up with each other while Alfred helped Dixie become the perfect American idiot.

 

~~Scene Change (Don’t mind me)~~

 

England had just finished a small dinner in his room when there was a knock on the door. He frowned slightly, it was highly unlikely that it wasn’t a nation, but he wasn’t quite sure who exactly would be knocking at his door at the hour. Sighing in irritation he opened the door, mentally preparing a lecture on bothering others at inconvenient times. The entire lecture flew out of his mind when the nation tackled him and caused them both to fall backward onto the floor.

 

“Angleterre! I’ve missed you so much!” gushed France.

 

“You  _ git _ will you get off me! Oh, bloody hell.” squeaked England in response.

 

France laughed and rolled off England so they were laying next to each other on the floor. “Well, Angleterre? Was it fun? Was Amérique good? Was he everything you expected him to be?”

 

“What on earth are you talking about crapaud?” sniffed England

 

“Don’t you know? You and Amérique eloped. Everyone was shocked that the rosbif managed to find a man of course. So tell me, did you enjoy the honeymoon?” asked France, turning to look at England. There was a shadow of pain in his eyes though he was smiling.

 

“Why the bloody fuck would I elope with America?!” England managed to splutter out, “And how on God’s green earth did you even come up with that idea? Besides, we’re only brothers!”

 

“So what were you doing with America for almost a week? Did it perhaps have something to do with the proclamation he made right before he left then?” 

 

“No. Not at all. He had all that dealt with fairly quickly. I wasn’t even involved. He did say to give him a week, so he invited me to a brief tour of Virginia Colony after he had finished. I must say it is quite a beautiful place. Excellent weather, beautiful towns. Of course, it’s a bittersweet joy to see it.”

 

France just raised an eyebrow, “Naturellement.” he turned to the still open door to see everyone but America looking in at them. “Bonsoir everyone! Angleterre has returned.”

 

England scrambled up and began to frantically brush off imaginary dust particles from his clothes. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t notice you. This git,” he kicked France lightly in the ribs, “was distracting me. How may I help you?”

 

Germany sighed, “Is America back?” at Englands nod to the affirmative he continued, “I’d like to go talk to him tomorrow morning. Does anyone know where he is? I don’t trust him not to be late, so we will come to him this time.”

 

Canada stepped forward, “Germany! I know where he is. I can take you tomorrow morning if you want?”

 

Germany continued as if Canada hadn’t spoken and continued to address England, “You weren’t here this past week. Were you at his house?”

 

“Yes, I was at his house. I can take you there Germany. Tomorrow morning. Now if you don’t mind, I would like to go to sleep. Thank you.”

 

Germany nodded and led Italy back to his room. The rest of the nations followed Germany’s example and dispersed to their rooms. Canada dragged France back to his room while apologizing profusely to England. Prussia and Spain also made their way to France’s room and the three of them disappeared into the room quickly.

 

“Good night, England.” smiled Canada, though he looked like he wanted to say something else.

 

“Good night Canada,” replied England, waiting to see if he would continue. Canada just nodded and went into his room, England following suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angleterre - England (I’d hope you know this already though)  
> Amérique - America (Again, I’d hope you know this already)  
> Crapaud - Originally the name of a South European frog, became a term used by British soldiers referring to the French during the Napoleonic Wars  
> rosbif - roast beef, the English  
> Naturellement - Naturally  
> Bonsoir - Good evening


	16. Knock on Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied. This isn't the last chapter. 
> 
> So I guess here you go folks!
> 
> Enjoy!

The morning came quickly for England. He had slept restlessly the entire night, waking up around 5:45 feeling somehow more tired than when he had gone to bed. Sighing, he made himself a cup of tea. Unfortunately, the hotel did not have proper tea so he was forced to drink lower quality instant tea. Taking his tea he moved to the window and looked out at the city. It was just waking up for the day, the sun rising over the Atlantic and filling the streets with soft light. D.C. was truly a beautiful city, Alfred had done wonders to it after he burnt down some of it.

 

England was shaken from his reflections by a knock on the door. Glancing at the clock, he realized it was already 6:30 in the morning. Standing, he moved to open the door. Prussia and Canada were standing on the other side.

 

“Hey Brows.” greeted Prussia, “Bruder wants to leave within the next 15 minutes. So you need to get going.”

 

“And we were hoping to have a family meeting afterward if that’s ok with you, England. France already said yes,” added Canada.

 

“Thank you. I’ll be down in a few minutes,” said England. He closed the door and turned back toward his room. Frowning slightly he moved to get dressed for the day. Just as he was about to leave England paused at the door and took out his phone. Quickly finding his contact for America he sent him a text.

 

» Hello Alfred, I know it’s early but I need to inform you that the G8 and others are coming over right now. I believe we’ll arrive in about 15 minutes. Just so you’re aware. ENG «

» Germany insisted that I take everyone over. «

 

This having been done, England went out of his room and down to the lobby where everyone else was waiting for him to arrive. Though it appeared that the only people who were remotely curious about going to America’s home were Germany and Russia. England could figure why for both, Germany wanted to know why the meeting was interrupted, and Russia wanted to know what America was doing. Certainly, England had no intention of telling them the truth, but it was out of his hands now. He had done the best he could and it was up to America to deal with the rest.

 

England briskly walked through the lobby and to the garage where their rental cars were parked. The rest of the nations followed him quickly because they were all slightly curious about what the day would have in store. Canada had offered to drive but was ignored, so Germany and England would be driving the two cars to America’s house. In Germany’s car were both Italys, Prussia, and Spain. In England’s car were Canada, France, Russia, and Japan. England pulled out of the garage first, heading westward and Germany followed behind him.

 

~~scene change~~

 

America’s household was up and running early, as was their want. By the time 5:50 came around everyone had gotten out of bed and migrated to the kitchen for breakfast. Kentucky made grits, Massachusetts started the coffee, and the rest of the states gathered around the table while they waited for breakfast to be ready. Texas had gone and gotten Alfred while breakfast was being made, and Dixie followed them down. As soon as Dixie sat down California and Colorado went up to him with what appeared to be a makeup box.

 

“Mornin’ Cal, Colorado. What’s this for?” he asked.

 

Colorado smiled, “Well, you’re supposed to be Jack, aren’t cha? And you look about as similar to him as Canada does.”

 

At his insulted look California hastened to explain, “Just that you look very similar. If someone weren’t looking they wouldn’t notice. But there are differences and we’re gonna see if we can’t make them smaller. Like your hair. Your hair is more of a honey blond than a wheat blond. And it’s longer too. And you don’t have Nantucket. For obvious reasons of course, but it’s still not quite the same. And your eyes are grey, while his are like a sky blue. And you’re more angular than he is.”

 

Dixie still wasn’t very impressed, “I wouldn’t have expected this from you. Why exactly are you doing this? And what exactly are you planning on doing?”

 

Colorado answered, “Well, we figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And all we’re gonna do is give you a hair cut. There’s really nothing more we can do. The rest is what you wear.”

 

California nodded in agreement and moved to get a pair of scissors. Seeing this, Dixie jumped out of his seat and almost ran to the other side of the room. Illinois looked up briefly from his newspaper before deciding it wasn’t worth getting involved. Texas was busy describing what was going on to Alfred, who couldn’t see all of their expressions.

 

“No. I refuse to let y’all cut my hair. It’s unnecessary!” said Dixie from across the room.

 

California sighed “Fine. We won’t cut your hair. But you do need Nantucket.”

 

Alfred chose this moment to chip in, looking toward Dixie, “Yeah. It’s absolutely necessary. How could you possibly be me without Nantucket?” this was accompanied by a vague gesture to his hair.

 

Seeing that he was outvoted, Dixie reluctantly made his way back to his seat where California and Colorado were waiting. As soon as he sat down Colorado took a section of his hair and cut it short. Dixie let out an indignant squawk, but didn’t outright complain. California took some hair gel and twisted the hair so it stood up in a similar manner to Alfred’s. As soon as he finished he put Texas (the glasses) on Dixie’s face and took a step back to make sure it was almost similar. Everyone else voiced their approval at California and Colorado’s work once they saw, or in Alfred’s case, were told.

 

Breakfast was served right after all the excitement over the haircut died down. (Which was immediately, no one really cared too much). The states ate quickly before leaving to manage their own affairs. Texas remained with Alfred, acting as his eyes while his glasses were in the possession of Dixie. Strangely enough, California did not leave after he finished breakfast, rather he came back and sat down again. Alfred’s phone dinged, signifying incoming text messages. He briefly looked at the sender before putting his phone away.

 

“The outcome yesterday was unsatisfactory. I think we can all agree on that.” California began

 

“I thought it went decently well.” interjected Dixie, “considering our propensity for shouting and violence.”

 

“ _ In any case _ ,” continued California, “I would like to bring up the issue of Mexico. And since I know that a full meeting would get us nowhere, I would like to address only those who were involved. Those being everyone who is still here.”

 

“Get on with it. I’ve things I’d like to do. None of which are listenin’ to you speak.”

 

“Shut the fuck up Texas.” snapped Cal, whirling to face him. Texas sniffed and sat back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the table.

 

“So,” sighed Alfred, “What did you want?”

 

California sighed and seemed to calm himself, “Mexico knows we exist now. I mean, he knew before but like, I’m pretty sure he thought you killed us. Anyways, you don’t want the world to be aware of us and he knows. We are leverage over you now. He can get you to do pretty much anything he wants now.”

 

“Welp,” Alfred wore a shit-eating grin, “That’s not my problem. What say you, Johnny?”

 

“What do  _ I _ say?” reiterated Dixie, “I say we postpone all discussion for a month, and in the meantime, monitor Mexico to make sure he doesn’t say anything that would put us in jeopardy. Alright?”

 

“Wow, thanks” grumbled Alfred, sarcasm dripping off his words.

 

“I also have a proposition. Now that we’re here.” sighed Texas, “There should be some form of retribution. Mexico kidnapped us, that can’t go unpunished.”

 

“What do you propose?” queried Dixie.

 

“Oh, wonderful,” sniffed California, “You listen to him, but not me. Really feeling appreciated here.”

 

“I propose that he perform a week of labor for each day we were with him. Each. So two months total, one with me and one with Cali.” he glanced briefly at California, “I’m sure we’ll both need the labor at some point.”

 

“All in favor?” asked Dixie, “Jack, you can vote too.”

 

The vote was interrupted by a loud series of knocks on the front door. They looked curiously toward the sound as guests weren’t expected today. The knocking came again, but more insistent this time. Alfred frowned then stood up quickly and threw his jacket at Dixie.

 

“Open the door. Pretend you’re me. I’ll take the states out to the back porch out of sight.”

 

Dixie nodded, put the jacket on and walked briskly toward the door. Alfred texted the rest of the states to go out to the back quietly and quickly. After he finished this, he, Texas, and California hurried out to the porch. Just as Dixie opened the door and began to greet the people on the other side, the rest of the states arrived on the back porch. They settled down to wait quietly for the guests to leave, or to retreat to the treehouse in the back of the yard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Capitulo perfectis, the author apologizes that the last chapter has become more. Aside from that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it answered some of your questions. Hopefully, maybe, the actual end will actually happen soon. To those that are familiar with Latin, I hope you enjoyed the reference to an amazing use of the ablative. If you don’t take Latin…
> 
> Please leave comments, they make my day much brighter and inspire me to write better content for you guys. Kudos help as well, and I appreciate every one.


	17. An Unexpected Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Preemptive thanks for reading. I do enjoy all of the comments you give and all of the invisible support you provide. Certainly, you're more supportive than my friends, but what can I say? 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> I quite liked Canada. :P

_ Dixie nodded, put the jacket on and walked briskly toward the door. _

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dixie smoothed out his shirt to try and calm his nerves. Behind him, he heard the quick patter of footsteps as the states moved toward the back porch.  _ Remember what Alfred told you, act oblivious, be loud, drop the accent (fat chance of that happening), ignore social cues, take the spotlight, and smile. You can do this, goddamnit! _ A brief glance behind him to make sure no one was in immediate danger of being seen, and he swung open the door. A tall buff blond man had his fist raised as if to knock again behind him were nine other people. He saw England and Prussia standing near the back, on either side of a blond girl in a suit.

 

“Hey y’all! Whatcha doin’ here?” Dixie smiled, continuing before anyone could answer, “Come in, come in. Can I get y’all anything to drink?”

 

He spun on his heel and led the nations into the dining room. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough chairs around the table, so Dixie pulled in three more chairs so everyone could sit.

 

“Did anyone want somthin’ to drink?”

 

“Nein.” ordered Germany, “We did not come here to socialize. We had questions.”

 

Dixie quickly crafted a heartbroken expression, “All y’all are here on business? That’s sad, I was looking forward to chilling with y’all.” Sighing, he collapsed into a chair between Prussia, who was at the foot of the table, and France, who was to Prussia’s right.

 

“Auf jedenfalls, I wanted to know, America, what was the issue that pulled you away from your meeting?” began Germany.

 

“Honestly dude, I can’t remember. Only that it was  _ nunya business _ .” Dixie’s answer opened a flood of questions from other countries.

 

“Everyone Shut UP!” shouted Germany, as the questions got out of hand. “One at a time,  _ bitte _ .”

 

France began this time, “America, who were the people in the lobby as you were leaving?”

 

“The teenagers? They work for Congress. Well, the state representatives. Not the entire Congress.”

 

“Why were they at the meeting, comrade?” asked Russia.

 

“They was passin’ along a message.”

 

“What was the message?” surprisingly it was Romano who asked this.

 

“‘The Coyote has stolen the Grape and the Bull’. Y'all heard that before.”

 

“Tell me,” Romano continued, “Did one of them have family from Illinois?”

 

“Yeah. … One of them was from Illinois. Why d’you care?”

 

Spain interrupted Romano before he could continue, “Did you know you were breaking France’s heart?”

 

“Oh, well bless your heart. France looks fine to me.”

 

~~Elsewhere~~

 

As soon as Mass arrived at the back porch she did a head count. Alfred and Texas had taken the lawn chairs, Illinois was sitting on the bench, California and Colorado were sitting across from each other on the top step leading to the lawn and leaning against the balustrades, and Kentucky was sitting on the railing. After making sure everyone was there, she herself sat next to Illinois on the bench.

 

They were all filled with a tense and awkward silence. Presently, Kentucky took out a jack-knife and began to twirl it around his hands. The rest of them, sans Alfred, turned and watched him in silence. After a few minutes of this, the light  _ schwit _ of a match being struck was heard. Colorado was lighting matches and shaking them out, before lighting another. Alfred sniffed once at the smell but didn’t say anything about it. The silence continued. California began to twist his cross necklace (which he didn’t wear, but kept in his pocket) around his hands. Soon thereafter, Alfred began to fidget nervously, and Texas and Illinois fingered their guns as if to assure themselves they were safe. Massachusetts started to flinch at every sudden noise or motion.

 

She practically jumped out of her skin when Alfred spoke. “I think someone ought to go watch the front so we know when they’ve left.”

 

“Why not watch  _ them _ ?” asked Texas.

 

“Because,” replied Alfred “if we watch them they might see us. If we watch them leave, they have less of a chance.”

 

“I’ll do it.” No one was particularly surprised by her statement.

 

Alfred nodded consent, “Go around the opposite side of the dining room since that’s probably where they are. Just hide up a tree or something and tell us when they leave, ‘k Mass?”

 

She huffed slightly, “I know what I’m doing, I  _ have _ done this before.” She slipped off toward the front of the house.

 

The rest of the states watched her go lethargically, not seeming to care, though they were incredibly nervous. Soon after she rounded the corner, they continued their previous actions, Kentucky twirling his knife, Colorado lighting matches, California twisting his necklace, Alfred fidgeting, and Texas and Illinois compulsively checking and double-checking their guns.

 

~~In the Dining Room~~

 

The questioning went on for quite some time. Each question led to another, which led to another. About halfway through Canada began to frown slightly. He had been ignored consistently throughout the meeting (to his consternation and Dixie’s relief) and took that time to observe everyone. Something seemed ever so slightly off about America. Canada wasn’t quite sure what it was, but America didn’t seem the same.  _ Perhaps he hasn’t been eating? He does look a little more angular. Or maybe he spent to much time in the South, he does sound slightly different too. _

 

Dixie was slowly losing his mind. He had not been at all prepared for the nations arriving on his doorstep to interrogate him. He half suspected that Canada knew or at least guessed that he wasn’t Alfred. Just as Russia took a breath to ask another question he stood up. The chair fell behind him with a clatter, and everyone fell silent watching him.

 

Glowering slightly, Dixie looked at them all, “As you can see I have done nothing to provoke this action. Are my answers to your satisfaction?”

 

Germany furrowed his eyebrows, “Ja. I suppose they are.” Germany didn’t sound at all satisfied, but he was in no position to insist that they stay. It was America’s house after all.

 

“Excellent,” smiled Dixie, “then y’all can close the door on your way out.”

 

Most of the nations stood up, however England, France, Canada, and Prussia remained sitting. When Germany looked at them curiously England gave a little huff.

 

“We’ve got business with him.  _ Private _ business. You can take both cars.”

 

“Alright.” frowned Germany, before nodding to himself and leaving the room.

 

The 5 nations left in the dining room waited in silence until they heard the front door close, and the faint rumble of the engines as the cars drove away.

 

Dixie let out a long sigh, before turning toward everyone still in the room. “Well, now that that’s done, does anyone want somethin’ to drink?”

 

“Sure. The awesome me will have a beer.”

 

“Tea.”

 

“My usual, if you please.”

 

“Wine.”

 

Dixie nodded and went quickly into the kitchen. He pulled out the first beer he saw in the fridge, it happened to be a Colorado beer, which was fine. He pondered over what tea England would like before settling on a half-half. He set the beer and the tea aside and pulled out his phone.

 

»Hey Jack«

»Yeah«

»This is CA btw«

»Answering for Alfred«

»What’s Canada’s ‘usual’ - drinks wise?«

»He likes beer«

»Alfred says give him a whiskey«

»The good KY kind«

»Thanks«

»What wine would you suggest?«

»A red«

»There’s a bottle in the kitchen somewhere«

»Why?«

 

Dixie was about to answer when he heard the click of the door closing. Before he could even turn around he was yanked back and slammed into the wall. Canada pressed his forearm against his throat to prevent him from moving. Dixie let out a strangled gasp and scrabbled at Canada’s arm, but was unable to escape. Canada glowered at him for a moment, not saying a word, just watching him struggle.

 

“Let’s get this over with quickly, oui?” Canada began, “Where is America?”

 

“I am America.” Dixie went limp and looked up at Canada quizzically, with a small smile.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare lie to me. I know my brother like I know my own mind. Now, let me ask again. Where the  _ fuck _ is my brother?” as Canada said this he put more pressure against his forearm and yanked his hand through Dixie’s hair, causing his hair to fall limply into his face. He also pocketed the glasses, leaving Dixie’s face bare.

 

“ _ Alfred _ is otherwise occupied.” sniffed Dixie, still somehow managing to sound haughty, “ _ I _ am America. Don’t worry about him.”

 

Canada’s eyes filled with rage. Whirling, he grabbed Dixie’s arm and pushed him into the dining room, where France, England, and Prussia were waiting. As Dixie was pushed through the door they all jumped up in surprise.

 

“ Mathieu !” squawked France “What are you doing to poor  Amérique ? Oh, mon Dieu. What  _ are _ you doing to your brother?!”

 

“This isn’t America, Papa,” replied Canada, his voice filled with an ice that was completely at odds to the rage in his eyes. “Look in his eyes, see how he lies.”

 

France did, in fact, look closely at Dixie. He noted the differences. The hair, the face, the eyes, the posture. Prussia and England both recognized Dixie as soon as he was pushed in (both feeling stupid they hadn’t realized sooner), but they couldn’t do much about his situation at the moment.

 

“Mathew, love,” began England tentatively, “perhaps you should set him down  _ without _ trying to kill him.”

 

Canada frowned, but let go of Dixie. Dixie sprang away from Canada and toward England, rubbing his arm where Canada had grabbed him.

 

“Let’s just sit down and discuss this like civilized folk, ja?” sighed Prussia, gesturing toward the table. England, France, Canada, and Prussia sat on one side, while Dixie sat opposite them. Canada had managed to contrive the seating so that Dixie was facing toward the door, and would thus have a harder time escaping if he decided to run for it.

 

“Before we begin,” frowned Canada “I want you to swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Swear on your honor. And trust in the fact that I  _ will _ know if you lie.”

 

Dixie sighed, “Just when I thought the interrogation was over.” seeing Canada’s continued glower he spoke again, “Alright, alright. I swear to tell the truth, whole truth, and nothin’ but the truth. Happy?”

 

“Quite.” sniffed Canada, “Now, who are you?”

 

Dixie let out a humorless laugh, “Well now, sunshine, that’s a loaded question ain’t it. … The Confederate States of America. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I would like to mention, since I think you'll care, that this book? is winding down, and should be done in about two chapters. Of course, I say that now, so who knows. I do hope you've enjoyed everything so far. Please leave kudos and comments, they are greatly appreciated.
> 
> I'd also like to mention that when someone says 'bless your heart' they are probably from the south, and are being passive-aggressive and sarcastic. Like "Oh, bless his heart, the dog's shitting on the lawn."
> 
> The Hobbit belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien, and it's an amazing book, I highly recommend. Hamilton belongs to Lin-Manuel Miranda. I don't own anything except my overactive imagination. Thanks


	18. An in depth exploration of the psyche of Massachusetts, among other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This is early. Well, what can I say, I've gotten the inspiration bug. (because aside from finishing this chapter I wrote out an entire oneshot, that I may or may not publish. IDK yet). 
> 
> In any case, thank you to everyone who leaves comments. They are my source of joy each day. Maybe on the last chapter I'll tell you what my favorite comment was for the story. Thanks also to those who leave kudos, they also make me happy.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Massachusetts rounded the corner quickly, glad to finally have something to do to keep her mind off the endless waiting. That was the worst part of anything, the waiting. Waiting for a verdict, a charge, an event, a shot. It was worse to wait and imagine rather than to do. Once you know the verdict you are fine, once you go over the top you are fine, once something happens you are fine, once a gun fires you are fine. You are fine because you know what to do. You have action, you have something to concrete to respond to. That’s why waiting is so awful, there is nothing to respond to, nothing but your imagination.

 

Nevertheless, once she found a suitable hiding spot from which she could see the rental cars parked in the driveway (they had Jersey plates), she was back to waiting for something to happen. Waiting is especially hard for New England states, and though she isn’t New York she is still not the most patient character.

 

_ Finally _ the front door opened. Six people walked out of the house. Mass didn’t see Canada, Prussia, England, or France in the group that left, but she was reasonably certain that the rest of the G8 were there, including Spain for some reason. They split themselves into both cars, the two Italians and the German in one, and the other three in the second.

 

The two cars drove out of sight, heading east back to the capital. Massachusetts waited another 5 minutes, to make sure they were gone, before leaving her hiding place and heading to the front door. The door was unlocked and she let herself in. She made her way quickly to the back porch to tell everyone else that the nations who had shown up had left and it was safe to come back inside.

 

As she passed the dining room she heard voices through the closed door. Frowning she cracked the door open slightly to see who was inside. What she saw was quite ironic. She would have laughed if she hadn’t been so irate. Canada, Prussia, France, and England were sitting at the table across from Confederacy, who looked overly relaxed. He was trying to seem like he was bored with the proceedings and didn’t care. That betrayed his nervousness. Canada was leaning over the table, crowding him. His ire was visible even from her limited view through the door.

 

She practically ran toward the porch when she saw Canada stand up. The states hadn’t moved from when she left, though California was fiddling with Alfred’s phone instead of his cross. They all looked up in surprise as she burst through the door, panting slightly from the adrenaline.

 

“That bastard… the Canuck…” she gasped.

 

Alfred looked at her, worried and slightly unfocused. “Explain! What’s going on?!”

 

“Confederacy looks like he’s about to be murdered by an angry Canadian,” she answered after catching her breath.

 

“What!!” Alfred squawked. “Oh shit! Oh god fucking damn it. That damn reb is gonna be the death of us all. Fuck!”

 

He scrambled up and tore headlong into the hallway. The states froze for a second looking at each other.

 

“We can’t let him make a complete fool out of himself?” offered Colorado.

 

The other states nodded and ran after Alfred. They were unfortunately not quite quick enough. There was a rather violent thump followed by a groan as they arrived at the door to the dining room. Alfred lay on his back at the base of the door with one hand over his face and the other splayed out dramatically. In the doorway was a crowd, Prussia and England were blocking the door, looking as if they were trying to hold in laughter. Canada and France were trying to look over their shoulders to see what the commotion was. Dixie was still sitting in his chair, though he had propped his feet up on the table.

 

The states gathered in the hallway around Alfred. For a solid minute, no one spoke. Then Illinois decided to break the silence.

 

“Well.” he stated in complete monotone, “It appears you’ve McFallen.”

 

This was followed by a flurry of giggles and snorts from the states, before Kentucky continued.

 

“Yes, he’s McFallen and he can’t get up.”

 

This time there was suppressed laughter. Not just from the states.

 

“Well,” began Colorado, laughing “He  _ is _ getting on in years. Besides, his lifestyle leaves much to be desired.”

 

“Oh fuck off, Colorado.” sighed Mass. “Just because you go on 10-mile hikes twice a day doesn’t mean he has to.”

 

“Besides,” chimed in Cal, “your diet is certainly not the best. You eat deep fried  _ balls _ for god's sake!”

 

“You’re in no position to be talkin’ about diet, Cali” sighed Texas before stepping forward and grabbing Alfred’s hand. “Up you get Old Man.”

 

Alfred let himself be heaved up off the ground and leaned slightly against Texas. Canada pushed forward to Alfred and grabbed his face. Alfred stood stock still while Canada looked him over, letting him move his face back and forth without complaint.

 

“You’re sure you’re alright?” 

 

“Dude, bro.” laughed Alfred, “I’m perfectly a-ok. If you worry much more you’ll end up just like England. Chill.”

 

“You’re telling  _ me _ to chill?!”

 

“Yeah.” Alfred smiled breezily, “C’mon. Let’s all of us sit down and just clear the air. K?” he addressed the final question to the states, who had simply stood by watching the nations warily.

 

Massachusetts glanced around at the other states briefly before nodding curtly. She pushed her way through the door and into the dining room and settled down next to Dixie. The rest of the nations took their old seats, and the states took the remaining seats. There was, unfortunately, one less chair than people, so Alfred leaned over Dixie’s shoulder.

 

Alfred sighed quietly, “Before we begin I’d like to say a few things. Firstly, Confederacy get your fucking feet off my table. It’s brand fucking new. I don’t need shoe scuffs on it already. Secondly, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I also can’t see. Ok? Ok.”

 

Dixie sighed dramatically but did take his feet off the table.

 

“Who are they?” asked France. He looked completely blindsided by everything.

 

Alfred smiled lightly, “The blond bombshell wearing casual hiking gear is Colorado. The love child of Italy and Germany is Illinois. Kentucky is the one who looks like the United Kingdom decided to go hillbilly. The two who look kinda Mexican are Texas and California. Texas is taller. And the one who looks like Scotland is Massachusetts. Confederacy looks like a washed out me. ‘Cause he is.”

 

Dixie reached up and slapped Alfred on the shoulder in retaliation. Canada jumped up at the movement, ready to protect Alfred should he need it.

 

“Sit  _ down _ , Canada.” snapped England, “You need to relax.”

 

Canada sat down with a murmured apology. There was an awkward silence, as no one knew what exactly to say. California broke the silence when it became clear no one else would.

 

“So why are you here? England, Prussia, Canada, France?”

 

“They said they’d ‘private business’ with me” answered Dixie for them.

 

Canada glared at Dixie, trying silently to tell him that if he spoke out of turn he would be murdered slowly and painfully.

 

“Alright. So what was the business?” Illinois took up the conversation, looking slightly too eager.

 

“We wanted to make an announcement,” grinned Prussia, casually reaching over and holding Canada. Canada himself seemed to relax in his hold.

 

France noticed and glanced back and forth between them. “Wait, you mean...”

 

“Yes Franny, me and Birdie are dating. Figured we ought to tell the family at some point.” Prussia answered France’s unasked question with a rakish grin.

 

“Finally!” laughed Alfred, “I think I speak for all of us when I say congratulations General.” there was a chorus of assent from the gathered states, most notably Mass and California. “And Mattie too,” Alfred added as an afterthought.

 

“Prussia, would you mind stepping out with me for a moment?” asked France, deadly calm.

 

“Sure,” said Prussia, but his bravado had dampened.

 

When France and Prussia went out into the hallway, Canada turned to Alfred.

 

“Here, Alfie. Your glasses ” he said, handing them back to Alfred. He took them and passed them down to Dixie.

 

Both England and Canada were confused by his action. Dixie noticed, grinned a little and gestured at Mass. They both turned their inquiring stares to her. She shifted uncomfortably before taking a deep breath.

 

“We decided that Alfred ought to have some time away from work,” she mumbled.

 

“That’s not the reason you gave to me.” sniffed Alfred.

 

“Fine.” she burst out, “None of us like you, England. And he spent almost a week with you. Can you blame us?”

 

England looked at her with a cold appraising stare. Finally he sighed, “No.”

 

The group inside the room lapsed into silence. It wasn’t a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t as full of tension as before. Canada was still glaring daggers at Dixie, and Massachusetts was doing likewise to England. But the rest of the occupants were relaxed, waiting for France and Prussia to come back from the hallway.

 

When they finally did come back both were smiling and they had their arms around each other. (Massachusetts senses a bromance). Prussia sat down next to Canada. France sat down between Prussia and England.

 

“We have come to a decision. I give you both my blessing.” smiled France quietly. “And Canada, I’m proud. You’ve gotten a good man.”

 

England sighed impatiently. “Is that all? I have things I need to do at home.”

 

Canada and Prussia looked at each other briefly, “Ja, that’s all.” nodded Prussia.

 

“Can you drive us into D.C. Alfred? I’m sure your house is full right now,” asked Canada.

 

“Sure bro!” smiled Alfred. Dixie grumbled and went out to get the car, Alfred took his seat. At Canada’s irritated glare he elaborated, “I told y’all already. I’m blind. Kinda figured you’d want to be driven by someone who could see the road?”

 

“I don’t like him,” said Canada, “He’s tried to  _ kill _ you for Christ’s sake!”

 

“Yeah, and I’ve tried to kill him.” shrugged Alfred, “We’re even.”

 

They were interrupted by Dixie shouting from the front door. “C’mon train’s a’movin’! Git your asses out here!”

  
England and France went out together, arguing about Canada’s taste in men. Prussia draped his arm over Canada and led him out. Canada sighed and leaned into Prussia, letting him drag him out. Just as he was about to leave he called back to Alfred, “I’m calling you tonight. And you  _ are _ going to explain everything!” and then the door slammed shut behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this I had an epiphany. California is a Hufflepuff. Here's my logic: Hufflepuffs are good finders. California's motto is Eureka. Eureka means 'I have found it'. Of course, you could argue Slytherin as well. Because the reason they found it was because they were ambitious. Anyways, I got to use the McFallen joke that I missed out on the first time.
> 
> I suppose I should also explain what I meant by the UK going hillbilly. I write under the assumption that the UK is England, Wales, Scotland, and N. Ireland. Kentucky in my mind has slightly shaggy light brown hair, slightly thick eyebrows, and murky green-blue eyes.
> 
> Deep fried balls = Rocky Mountain Oysters. If you want to know what they are I suggest googling it.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated. Thanks.


	19. So I've got 255 characters to name this chapter, and I'm not quite sure what that name should be. 'Cause like usually I have a nice funny name, or a reference or something but today I'm just out of ideas. So I've asked some people and I've decided on Bob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've committed an act of perfidy. This isn't the last chapter anymore. I would tell you how much more there is, but then I'd be wrong, and I don't want to lie to you too much.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy this! :)

When Dixie arrived back at the house Alfred was sitting on the front steps. He held a cigarette loosely between his lips and a magnifying glass in his hand. There was a newspaper laid across his lap, and he was bent over trying to read it.

 

“What’cha doin’ out here?” Dixie asked once he got to the steps.

 

“Didn’t want to be inside.” answered Alfred in a plume of smoke, not looking up “They’re going over the meeting since 2/3ds of them missed it. Figured I’d get the transcript anyways, so why’d I have ta be there.”

 

“Hmm. Mind if I join you then?” asked Dixie.

 

“Sure.” Alfred moved over slightly so there was room on the step next to him. “Wanna smoke?”

 

“Sure.”

 

They settled down next to each other. Alfred handed Dixie a cigarette and lit it before going back to trying to read the paper. Dixie grumbled in irritation before yanking it away from him. Alfred began to complain but stopped when Dixie started reading one of the articles.

 

~~in the room where it happens~~

 

“Alright,” began Massachusetts, as soon as everyone but the states had left the room. “Kentucky, Illinois, Texas, and California. All of you missed the last meeting. Here’s the resolution we’ve come to. If you sign off saying you agree we can all go home.” she placed a roughly 10-page document on the table.

 

“What if we disagree?” queried Kentucky.

 

“If you disagree you should have said something when we were making the resolutions.” snapped Mass.

 

Illinois sighed and took the resolution. He looked through it briefly before flipping to the back and signing his name. Colorado and Massachusetts already had their names showing assent. As soon as he finished California took it and did the same. Kentucky took his time looking it over, making a show of being thorough. Once Mass began to drum her fingers on the table he quickly signed it and passed it to Texas. Texas looked through it and frowned.

 

“What did you mean--”

 

“Too late.” interrupted Mass, “If you’d wanted a say you shouldn’t have been fighting with Cali.”

 

“That  _ can’t _ be legal. I’ve a say. Are you just going to ignore me ‘n the rest of the Southwest?”

 

“We aren’t technically ignoring you. You simply chose not to provide useful input.”

 

“What about Cali?”

 

“I happen to trust their judgment,” California interjected.

 

“Are we not a democracy?” said Texas, “Oughtn’t I have a say in the proceedings?”

 

“Yes,” smirked Colorado, “and your say was that California is extremely annoying and extremely hot.”

 

Texas and California both flushed bright red. Texas spluttered “It was  _ not _ ! He’s a damned fool’s what he is!”

 

“Sure” she drawled.

 

“Look, Texas,” sighed Mass, “Just sign it so we can all go home. I’m sure we’re all tired and all want to get back to our own problems.”

 

“Fine,  _ fine _ .”

 

He signed the resolution very aggressively before stalking out of the room and slamming the door. The rest of the states sat in silence for a few moments before California sighed and slumped down in his seat.

 

“You’re a tease, Colorado.”

 

“No, I’m not. It’s incredibly obvious to  _ most _ of us.”

 

“And the rest of us don’t care,” added Illinois, “except that we’ve got good money riding on the two of you.”

 

“Wow. How  _ wonderful _ .” snarked California.

 

“Well,” interrupted Kentucky in a falsely positive tone, “Now that that’s all been wrapped up maybe we can go tell Jack that we’re done? Say, how ‘bout I go an’ tell him right now?”

 

He got up and practically ran to the door to get Alfred. Massachusetts huffed in annoyance before turning on Illinois.

 

“Would you mind going and finding Texas? Thanks.”

 

Illinois frowned and looked like he was about to speak, but thought better of it and left without a word. Soon after he left Alfred, Dixie, and Kentucky reentered the room.

 

“Well?” asked Alfred, “Didja come to an agreement of sorts?”

 

“Yes. Here you go, another pile of paperwork for you.” smiled Mass

 

“We’re just waiting for Illinois to come back with Tex, and we’ll be all done,” added Colorado.

 

“Wonderful!” cheered Alfred, “I can have my house to myself again.”

 

Kentucky snorted, “Don’t be so dramatic, you were barely here during the week anyway.”

 

At that moment, Illinois entered the room again, dragging Texas behind him by the elbow. As soon as they were both in the room Texas shrugged Illinois off and stalked over to the chair furthest from California, not making eye contact with anyone. California himself looked intently at his hands to avoid Texas’ gaze. Alfred sighed quietly at their childish behavior (he wasn’t much better, but that’s another story).

 

Once everyone was seated Alfred began to speak, “Alright. So now that this is done, what are your guys’ plans?”

 

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow.” answered Mass, “At least, I assume everyone will be?”

 

There was a general chorus of assent from the states.

 

“You’ve all got reliable transportation and stuff? Especially you.” here Alfred looked at Colorado.

 

“Mhm.” nodded Colorado, “flight’s all prepared.”

 

“Good,” smiled Alfred, “Then I call this meeting to a close.”

 

That said, he grabbed at the transcript and turned to go to his office. Texas stood as well and helped him down the hall and into the office. Just as he was about to leave Alfred called him back in.

 

“Tex. Could you sit down please?”

 

He did so warily, not quite sure what Alfred had planned for him.

 

“Yes, what do you need?”

 

“Nothing, nothing. Just, I have a couple of things I’d like to talk over with you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, first of all, thanks. For, you know, making sure I don’t fall flat on my face too frequently. I really appreciate that. Secondly, you and California made a pact. Don’t look surprised, I’m not dense. I could feel you make it. Anyways, you’d better dissolve that, it’s no longer legal. And thirdly, I’d like you to stay a few days, so I can make sure you’re alright. You  _ are _ alright, right?”

 

“I’m doing fine. Much better now I’m back. How did you know I was surprised?”

 

“I told you, I can feel these things.”

 

“Huh. Alright, well, if that’s all, I’ll go and find Cali and dissolve the pact.” Texas stood and went to the door, pausing in the frame, “And you’re welcome. I don’t mind helping you out from time to time.”

 

“Thanks. Once you’re done, could you send Cali up here? I’d like to talk to him too.” Alfred smiled brightly before turning to the daunting task of going through his paperwork.

 

Texas left and paused just outside the door. He frowned before moving off toward the room California had claimed. He was half hoping Cali would be there, and half hoping he wouldn’t be.

 

He wasn’t in his room. Texas rapped twice at the door and wasn’t let in. Frowning, Texas stood back to contemplate the hallway. He doubted Cali would be in Massachusetts’s room and the same with Kentucky’s room. It was incredibly unlikely, practically impossible, and  _ very _ illogical that Cal would be in his room. That left Illinois and Colorado as the two possible candidates. If he was even in any of the rooms to begin with.

 

Colorado seemed more likely, so Texas moved toward her room. Hesitating briefly at the door, he knocked sharply.

 

“Come in” she called.

 

He opened the door, revealing Colorado and California sitting across from each other. Colorado was laying on her back on the bed, her feet on the pillow. California was sitting on the chair, his feet kicked up on the bed. They both looked up when he entered the room. Cal quickly turned away, looking at his hands, while Colorado looked him in the eye. Texas shuffled awkwardly in the doorway before Colorado sighed and rolled off the bed. 

 

“I’m gonna assume you’re not here for me?” she asked. Texas nodded and she smiled slightly, “I’ll leave you to it.”

 

As soon as she left the door Texas closed the door. California looked up as the door clicked.

 

“Yes?”

 

Texas sighed, and sat down on the bed across from California. “The pact. We’re back home now.”

 

“Yes. Of course.” California held out his hand, “I hold your side of the pact fulfilled.”

 

“And I yours.” Replied Texas, reaching out to shake his hand.

 

They shook quickly before letting go. There was an awkward silence before Texas broke it.

 

“Union wants to see you. He’s in his office.”

 

California sighed, “Alright.” he hesitated as if he wanted to say something else, but turned and left without another word.

 

~~~~

 

When California arrived at Alfred’s office, he was bent over the resolution with a magnifying glass. California knocked lightly on the door frame before walking in and sitting down in front of the desk.

 

“You wanted to see me?”

 

Alfred looked up, “Yes. I did. Thanks for ending your pact with Texas. Not that I’m upset you made it. It was wise at the time, but you understand I can’t have it continue.”

 

“Yes, of course. Was that all?”

 

“No. I’d like you to stay for a few days. Just until I get everything figured out with Mexico and stuff.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Umm. And are you alright? How’s your hand?”

 

“I’m fine. My hand is almost healed. So I suppose thanks for stitching it up.”

 

“Mhm. What else am I supposed to do?”

 

The conversation paused, and California looked at Alfred and then the pile of paperwork he had.

 

“Umm. Alfred. I hate to be rude, but you’re doing paperwork?”

 

Alfred cocked his head, “Yeah?”

 

“You do realize that’s hella stupid right? Like, you could just shove it on Dixie instead. Like, he’s the ‘great US of A’ right now. So like, shouldn’t he be doing all of the paperwork anyway?”

 

Alfred blinked a few times, before letting his face fall onto the desk. “Thanks, Cali. You can go now, I guess.”

 

Just as California was leaving the office he heard Alfred’s shout “CONFEDERACY!! GET YOUR FUCKING REBEL ASS OVER HERE! NOW!”

 

California watched Dixie run up to Alfred’s office as he walked toward the kitchen. Dixie seemed slightly panicked, and California chuckled to himself before treating himself to a nice glass of Zinfandel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this. If you did, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Umm, other than that, did you know that Zinfandel is a pretty common California wine? yeah... 
> 
> I'm not sure what else to say about this chapter. 
> 
> I guess, don't smoke is a good one. And I know you've probably heard it a thousand times and such, but it's not good for your lungs. And you need lungs to breathe, and you need to breathe to live.
> 
> Also, awkward conversations are awkward. :P


	20. Hanging on the Telephone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret to announce - this is The End. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.
> 
>  
> 
> Since this is the end, I would like to extend my thanks to a certain few people.  
> \- Firstly, everyone who ever commented, left a kudos, or read a whole chapter. Thanks!  
> \- Secondly, hips_of_steel and so. Because your comments were particularly inspiring. Thanks!  
> \- Thirdly, to whomever I know in person that is reading this. Your silent judgment is greatly appreciated.  
> \- Fourthly, to Flamestarter. You have achieved the best comment for your comment on chapter 10. Sorry everyone else, your comments were good and appreciated, but they didn't make me laugh or spawn a twitter account.

~~The Next Morning~~

 

Breakfast was a muted affair. Everyone except Texas and California had packed and was ready to leave after they finished eating. Dixie was frowning and glaring at Alfred all through breakfast, and Alfred himself was smiling. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Alfred had found a way to pass off all of his work to Dixie.

 

After breakfast had been cleaned up Illinois and Kentucky set out to leave. Kentucky would be driving them both to his place, where he would stop and Illinois would keep going up to his home. They had done the same thing on the way down, Illinois had driven himself to Kentucky, and Kentucky had driven them to Alfred’s place.

 

Leaving is a very long process, mostly because Alfred is sentimental. So to say goodbye you give a round of hugs to everyone, even the people you don’t like. And the hugs are not some slipshod hugs either. It’s the whole shebang, complete with clinging and crying. After everyone’s tears have been dried and the hugs are finished, whoever is departing has to promise to call Alfred once they get home. If they don’t they get an emotional voicemail the next day and a stern lecture the next time they see Alfred. And nobody wants that.

 

Soon after they left Colorado and Massachusetts left as well. Massachusetts was going to drive Colorado to the airport where she would catch a flight to Denver. They too went through the same rigmarole as Illinois and Kentucky, with the hugs and promised phone calls, before they left.

 

Finally, the house descended into quiet. This was rather unusual, as most of the people who spent any amount of time there usually wanted to be heard and refused to listen. However today all of the occupants were occupied with their own business. Dixie went grudgingly to Alfred’s paperwork. California went scrounging through a stack of books, and upon finding a copy of Steinbeck, went out to the back porch to read. Texas took a guitar and holed himself in his room. Alfred didn’t quite know what to do. Playing video games and reading things (like boring paperwork) were out of the question. He deliberated a bit before deciding to pour himself another cup of coffee.

 

Just as he was settling down to his cup of joe, the phone rang. By the ringtone, Who Are You, Alfred knew it was Mattie calling him. Alfred sighed quietly, put down his coffee and answered the phone.

 

“Why hello good sir. What can I do for you today?”

 

“ _ Shush Alfred. I want you to explain, please. We were kinda rushed yesterday, eh? _ ”

 

“Well all right then, way to cut to the chase, bro. What exactly did you want me to explain?”

 

“ _ Just, I don’t know, go through everything that happened. Precisely and chronologically, without embellishments. _ ”

 

“My PoV or a 3rd omniscient PoV?”

 

“ _ Yours, I guess. How would you even do 3rd omniscient? _ ”

 

“Hell if I know. So essentially, I was at the meeting while the regions were hashing out domestic policy. Horribly scheduled, but what can you do? So Confederacy was in charge kinda. He was there because I don’t want them to try and kill each other. California and Texas were there, which probably wasn’t the best decision. Anyways so I get the phone call from them at the meeting, you heard it. And then they all show up and freak out the secretary lady. I’ll probably have to reprimand him for that. And you’re kind enough to distract the rest of the G8. So I gather my crew and we split up so everything goes ok. I have the rest of the states deal with the internal stuff so they won’t be in the line of fire. And then I assembled my team. Since we had to go down south and kick ass I chose myself as the leader, Dixie was second in command because even if he’s a traitor, he’s still American. Then General and Iggy just came along for the ride. And we went over to my place to find clues to where Cali and Tex went. England did some weird magic stuff with chalk and turned one of Tex’s guns into a map. We followed the map south into Mexico. Wonderful trip, it was long and everyone was grumpy. But I got to awe everyone with my awesome singing, so it was alright. Umm. Once we got to the border I managed to secure passage across and back without too much inspection. And then we arrived to this really swank and out-of-date mansion. And I had Iggy sit outside with a sniper rifle to cover everything while I went and had a real nice conversation with Mexico. Dixie and General went in back to retrieve Tex and Cali. And once they were out we all ran like the dickens back home. We stopped in Houston and took a plane back to DC. And yeah. That was all about 5 days worth. Satisfied?”

 

“ _ Yes? Why do you trust Confederacy? _ ”

 

“He’s American. I mean we never got along when he first  _ appeared _ , or ever really, and he did break apart the family, but we  _ know _ each other. I don’t know how to explain it, we kinda complement each other, I guess.”

 

“ _ Okay … I still don’t trust him. Another question, why didn’t you fly. It would have saved me time. _ ”

 

“Because I was rushed and just kinda ran down to save them.”

 

“ _ Okay. One more thing-- _ ”

 

“Hey, I’ve got a question. Why didn’t you call yesterday like you said you would? Were you too busy with General to pay me any mind?”

 

“ _ No! Well, yes. Partially. I was going to call, but I was dragged in to mediate an argument between France and England. _ ”

 

“Oh? What was it about this time?”

 

“ _ How England was a lying bastard. That was France’s position. He threatened to stop visiting England and stuff. _ ”

 

“I’m sure Iggy was more than happy to let that happen. What did he lie about?”

 

“ _ Where he’d been. Claimed you had given him a short tour of Virginia. And that he wasn’t involved in helping you with your issues. _ ”

 

“Oh. Alrighty then. I wish France luck with trying to woo Iggy. Has he ever tried just shipping him a shit ton of tea?”

 

“ _ I think so. I believe he tried that in the 1840's. I don’t recall it working too well, something about the wrong type of tea. _ ”

 

“Of course Iggy would be pissy about that.”

 

“ _ Yeah. Ok, last question. _ ”

 

“Fire away.”

 

“ _ Why was Confederacy pretending to be you? _ ”

 

“Because of governmental processes.”

 

“ _ Why was the government involved!!? _ ”

 

“Not the  _ government _ government. Our personal government. The 13’s council.”

 

“ _ Oh. Well, what are you going to do about the states? England, France, and Prussia know now. _ ”

  
  


Dixie was aware, of course, of how hard it is to run a country. Honestly, look at his history: corruption and abuse were rampant, there were high taxes and horrible inflation. He was, however, not directly involved in any of that. He was pushed to the front lines and spent most of his time dealing in battle strategy and trying to keep troops organized. This experience did not translate very well to paperwork, and though he had done paperwork for Alfred before, it was usually more of a critical second opinion than the actual paperwork.

 

Nevertheless, he gave it his best. He was struggling through a financial report when the phone on the desk rang. Now usually, he wasn’t allowed to touch this phone as it was for business. Alfred was rather paranoid and didn’t want anyone like the president discovering his existence and pulling him into the political scene. But Alfred was downstairs and wasn’t even in charge anymore. On the third ring, Dixie picked up.

 

“Howdy. Who are you and what do you want?”

 

“ _ Emm. Hola, Am _ _ é _ _ rica? _ ”

 

“Oh. Mexico. It is very bold of you to call. Especially now.”

 

~~Time Skip~~

 

Dixie hung up and sighed. Frowning at the phone, he tapped a pen against his chin in thought.  _ Now, really, I ought to tell Jack. But if I do he’s gonna go all psycho on my ass. Course, if I don’t and he finds out he’ll go psycho on my ass too. So really, it’s a lose-lose right now for me. _

 

He stood and went slowly downstairs in search of Alfred. He wasn’t in the kitchen or the dining room. Nor was he in the room across from the kitchen that didn’t have a specific purpose (there was a piano and a shelf of maps and an odd mix of books). A brief check of the back porch revealed California curled up and deeply immersed in what looked to be a copy of “Grapes of Wrath”. Dixie was about to leave when California spoke.

 

“If you’re looking for Alfred, he’s in the living room. Talking with Canada.”

 

Dixie paused at the door inside, “May I inquire as to how you know this?”

 

California looked up from his book, “I heard his ringtone. I’ve also tapped his phone. If you’d like a recording of the whole conversation I can get it to you.”

 

“No thank you. It’d cost me something dreadful anyway.”

 

California merely hummed and turned back to his book. Dixie left him to his book and went to the living room.

 

When Dixie entered the living room Alfred was lounging on a couch backward, his feet over the back and his head laying on the cushions. He didn’t look up at all, and it took a solid minute before Dixie was noticed.

 

“Ah, give me a minute Mattie,” he said, before turning his whole attention to Dixie.

 

“Well? What’s the issue?”

 

“Your phone rang.” Dixie answered, “I picked it up. Some rather interesting information.”

 

“Why did you--”

 

“It’s my business now anyway. Can’t stop me.”

 

Alfred sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Alright. So what was so fucking important that you had to get me?”

 

“Mexico called.”

 

“ _ Fuck _ ! What did he say?”

 

“Mostly an apology, wanted to go meet them and the rest of the states he had had before.”

 

“What did  _ you _ say?”

 

“Told him to fuck off. Politely. What were you talking to Canada for?”

 

“Canada was s’posed to call yesterday. Got distracted by General. So we’re talking now. Telling him that I don’ mind him talking ‘bout the states.”

 

“This is to take cards, so to speak, from Mexico?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Dixie and Alfred looked at each other for about a minute in silence, not quite sure where to take the conversation. Finally, Dixie huffed and left back to deal with the mess that was financial reports.

 

\--------------------------

 

The household slowly went back to normal as days passed. Alfred and Dixie both went out to see the G8 off with California and Texas. Spain was practically in tears and hugged them both multiple times before Romano dragged him off, complaining about missing the flight.

 

Generally, California and Texas would avoid each other except at dinner. Alfred ended up finding a part-time job to keep him busy while Dixie went through and did what he was supposed to be doing.

 

A few days later, Texas asked Dixie if he could leave and get back to his ranch. He was slightly homesick. This spawned a debate over dinner, Alfred didn’t want them to go yet, but both Texas and California were ready to go back to  _ their _ state. Finally Alfred conceded. Texas gave his farewells immediately after dinner. He was gone early the next morning. California took more time. He said goodbye after breakfast and was gone about lunchtime.

 

Texas had called in about 9 in the morning, letting Alfred know he was home. After lunch, Alfred set to work putting his house back into order. Vases and other knickknacks that he had moved were put back in their rightful place. California called him about 6:30 pm to let him know that he was home. Alfred was at this point making dinner (Succotash).

 

Both Alfred and Dixie went to bed soon after dinner was cleaned up; Alfred because he was tired from reorganizing, and Dixie because he didn’t want to think about the chaos that is Capitol Hill. The house itself, after they go asleep, seemed more relaxed. The foundations creak some, and Alfred wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that he needs to find a time to make repairs to his home. But the inside is much more informal than before. There are papers scattered everywhere and random items sit in odd places. This apparent mess has an off-kilter order to it. Everything is in its place and easily found. Certainly, England wouldn’t be pleased with the state of the house, but he isn’t here anyway to complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Historical/Cultural References:
> 
> Who Are You - The Who - an English rock band
> 
> The Confederacy didn't have a strong central government at the beginning of the war, as it would restrict states' rights. (So a few states just outright ignored the Confederate government). The Confederacy was ironically the first to initiate a draft because they needed people in the army. Since the wealthy could hire a replacement to go for them, usually a poor white farmer who needed the money, the wealthy upper class didn't go to war in the same # as the poor. If you were a slave owner one white member of the household could stay behind for every 20 slaves owned. Taxes were enacted to fund the army as well. the 1/10 tax had all farmers give 1/10 of their produce to the army. This policy affected mostly poor white farmers. The Confederacy also needed money, so they printed a lot of paper money. They printed so much that the Confederate dollar became worthless, and the prices for necessary goods soared. In conclusion, the Civil War was very hard on the poorer class compared to the wealthy (who controlled the government).

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fiction. I hope I didn't offend you with any of the characters, but if my writing ability did offend you that's fine. I can't write. In any case, thanks for getting this far, and I suppose if you enjoyed it comment or something. Thanks again for reading. Ummm, ye. Bye.


End file.
